23 Mar 11

A Woman’s POV: How it Makes Me Feel When… He Sent Me an Angry Text

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By Jessica Downey – Not What I Ordered

I am a big fan of texting. Actually, I consider it a gift to the multi-tasker. If you are running late you can send a quick text. If you are in the middle of watching a show and see a funny commercial you can send a text. If you need to tell someone something and are afraid you will forget you can send a text. You get the idea.

However, one of the biggest problems with texting is that you can’t pick up the other person’s tone. That means you shouldn’t use it when tone is important. Hence why I listed things that didn’t really need any interpretation and didn’t have a lot of feeling or emotion up there.

This actually reminds me of something that happened a couple of years ago with a guy I was seeing. I wrote a blog about picking up other women on a date (it wasn’t about him but just about the general subject). Apparently something I said in the blog upset him and he decided to confront me via text.

When I first read his text I was a little confused – I wasn’t exactly sure if he was being sarcastic or if he was actually upset with me. So I asked him and that only seemed to anger him more and he just kept sending me rude texts. Eventually he stopped and we also stopped seeing each other.

Honestly, receiving that first angry text made me feel down right crappy.

First of all, I wasn’t sure if he was actually mad at me or what was going on because I couldn’t read his tone. So the next few texts were spent trying to figure out what was going on. We both just kept getting frustrated which only made the issue into something much bigger.

That all leads into the second point – it’s frustrating and hurtful. This is largely because one of you (or both of you) say things that you don’t mean. You aren’t face to face so you don’t have to deal with the reaction of the other person and you can interpret things however you want. This doesn’t really solve anything at all.

Thirdly, I almost feel disrespected. I feel like if I do something to upset someone that I should have a chance to explain. And I really feel that the point of confronting a person about whatever they did is to work things out. You just can’t do that through text. So I really question how much the guy really values me and our relationship if all he wants to do is spew angry texts.

I guess the bottom line is that I feel like sending an angry text is just lazy. And in a situation where you really need to talk things out it just doesn’t make a lot of sense. It might seem like it’s easier to do but really all it does is make the problem that much bigger.

  • What do you think?

About Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer KeltonI did not wake up one morning and say “hey I think I’d like a man use my sweater like a towel, write a candid dating book, become a dating expert, the CEO and founder of a social dating site and have three blogs.”

All of this has happened in a slow burn and here I am. The good, the bad, the mistakes, way too many tears shed to count, lots of wine and oh my goodness a huge learning curve that leaves me much of the time saying, “I’m sorry but this is all new to me.”

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