16 Jan 11

Sunday Bad Date Funnies: Brett Favre’s Female Counterpart

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True bad date story via DatingALemon

I met a MILF online. MILF was 41 from the OC, recently divorced, with two kids… definitely not long term material. I noticed she had viewed my profile on Plenty of Fish, so I checked her profile out. She looked hot… like she could have been one of the ladies of the Real Housewives of the OC: 5’2”, blonde, lots of cleavage shots. I figured why the hell not, so I sent her a message saying that we should meet up for a drink even though she lived about 40+ miles away. She actually responded and agreed. This could be fun…

We wrote back and forth and exchanged numbers. After a day or two of texting, I asked her how recent her profile pics were. She said the most recent was from June, she then asked if I’d like to see a more recent picture. Naturally, I said of course… she responds with “appropriate or un-appropriate?” Ummmm…. Really… ok “one of each!” I thought she was really just being playful and was only going to send a normal pic.

She texts me a pic, still looking good. Then I get second pic, I was expecting another clothed one….much to my surprise, it was a self portrait of her standing naked in front of the mirror! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! WOW! I didn’t realize I was on Adult Friend Finder. She starts sending me about one nude pic a day, in various states of undress, without any reciprocation, I’ll let Brett Favre handle that area.

Obviously, testosterone took control and I couldn’t wait to meet this lady. We set up a date at a bar halfway between us. I’m thinking the date will probably be a couple drinks and then something crazy, like a motel room romp. We meet at the bar, things are just ok. They say the camera adds 10 pounds (or whatever )… I think with her, the camera subtracted 30 pounds. She was still attractive, but definitely no Housewife of OC, she’d barely have a cameo.

I told her that she’s the first date I’ve had where I’ve seen the goods before the date. She responds with “well, I’m new to this whole online thing, isn’t that what everyone does? I thought it was the trend to exchange nude pics via text. I exchange them with all the guys I meet online, you’re one of the only ones that never sent any back!” WTF!?!?! REALLY?

Am I missing something here? Have I totally been missing out? Maybe it’s an over 40 thing? Maybe it’s an OC thing? Has this happened to anyone else?

Things with the MILF never got beyond some kissing at the bar and at her car. I thought I was special in getting the pics, but now I know I’m just average… boo! I texted her twice after the date, only one response, I guess that was that. Still, knowing that other men on POF have her pics, at least I don’t feel guilty about showing the pictures to my friends… anyone else wanna see?

UPDATE: She finally responded to my text (one day later/ two days since the date): Hey..good afternoon! Sorry I was at a party at school for my son all day. Ummm also wanted to tell u that ur are an amazing sweet man & I’ve had a lot of fun with u but someone I had a relationship from my past has recently entered my life again. I’d like to see where it goes with him. I did have a lot of fun with u and thank u for being so sweet : ) Good luck in ur fishing.: )

I responded with: Hey, had fun too.. I use the same excuse when I wanna turn someone down nicely hope it works out SERIOUSLY, it’s time we all think of a better way to turn people down… how about we just say “I didn’t like you!”

  • What do you think?

About Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer KeltonI did not wake up one morning and say “hey I think I’d like a man use my sweater like a towel, write a candid dating book, become a dating expert, the CEO and founder of a social dating site and have three blogs.”

All of this has happened in a slow burn and here I am. The good, the bad, the mistakes, way too many tears shed to count, lots of wine and oh my goodness a huge learning curve that leaves me much of the time saying, “I’m sorry but this is all new to me.”

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