13 Mar 10

Badonlinedates Article Live on the Washington Post (Saturday Edition)

Posted by


Online sites allow lovelorn to commiserate over bad dates, get dating advice

By Kathleen Hom
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, March 14, 2010

After eight years of trying to find Mr. Right, 26-year-old Irene Vivenzio of Waldorf is done with online dating.

She thought lengthy online questionnaires that required paragraph-long answers, weeks of exchanging e-mails and a few follow-up phone calls would weed out any losers. In some cases, that worked. But plenty of bad dates slipped through.

A frustrated Vivenzio usually turned to friends to vent about her dating misadventures. But now some daters are posting details about disastrous dates online at sites such as www.badonlinedates.com or www.abadcaseofthedates.com

With millions of users logging on to dating sites (eHarmony boasts more than 20 million registered users and Match.com advertises that it reaches 5.8 million unique monthly users), bad dates come with the territory. “It’s a numbers game,” says New Hampshire clinical psychologist Carl Hindy. “And you have to . . . sit with a lot of bad matches in order to make good use of the numbers.”

Unfortunately that takes away a lot of the joy and excitement in finding love, explains Jennifer Kelton, founder of Los Angeles-based badonlinedates.com. A lot of people misrepresent themselves, Kelton says, no matter if you’re a 75-year-old Jewish widow or a 20-something professional looking for the right match. But “we’re hard-wired for companionship,” she adds. “We want to feel loved and feel safe.

Providing an outlet to air grievances may be a good way to climb over dating setbacks. There’s this social stigma of perfection that daters need to get over, Kelton says. These Web sites let users create an online community by sharing funny or bad stories.

On badonlinedates.com, for example, poster SingleSteve tells how he endured an exhausting two-hour conversation in which his date only complained about how she hated her job and had no friends. SingleSteve wrote, “I’m thinking of stabbing myself in the face, only so I can tell my date I’m bleeding from the face and we should probably call it a night.” On A Bad Case of the Dates, poster Leslie talks about her blind date with a man named Ron, who revealed he created a dating profile because his anger-management counselor encouraged him to meet new people, which could help with his drug and alcohol rehab.

Airing stories that others can poke fun at are “important . . . ways to lighten the emotional load,” Hindy says. Posters can also get tips and feedback on how to handle or prevent awkward situations. Kelton’s site includes a link to a Twitter feed so if a dater is on a horrific encounter, he or she can ask for advice and get immediate feedback.

But there can be a dark side to posting dating mishaps online. “When there’s identifying information, that can be extremely destructive; it borders on defamation of character,” warns Diana Kirschner, New York author of “Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love.” Kirschner suggests doing what Vivenzio does: Talk to close friends. “It’s better to err on the side of caution, err on not hurting the person” by avoiding a public display.


  • What do you think?

About Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer KeltonI did not wake up one morning and say “hey I think I’d like a man use my sweater like a towel, write a candid dating book, become a dating expert, the CEO and founder of a social dating site and have three blogs.”

All of this has happened in a slow burn and here I am. The good, the bad, the mistakes, way too many tears shed to count, lots of wine and oh my goodness a huge learning curve that leaves me much of the time saying, “I’m sorry but this is all new to me.”

In need of a
cyber fortune?

Follow us on Twitter and Tweet #BODFortune to receive a personal DM message of hope, joy and wisdom.

  • BOD Dating App — Alpha Launch 10/15/15

    Mobile dating is about to be changed forever. Are you ready to be a part of the revolution? Coming soon: BadOnlineDates.com will transform the dating space as we know it with the brand new BOD app that redesigns the concept of dating. You know that tingling sensation you feel when you discover an amazing new […]

  • Dress for the Date Announces #DressMonday

    #DressMonday I don’t know about you but I wake up on Monday and know that I’ll be at my desk putting out fires and then at some point having to put my “man pants on and be the “CEO”. Many of us work in masculine industries or the gender-neutral tech space, where it’s easy to […]

  • Shit Cougars Say – Part 2 (Aka Single Older Women)

    Related posts: Bad Date TV: Bad Date Ben – Honestly Ben (What A Douchebag!) Bad Date TV Starring Bad Date Ben – Mom I’d Like to Blank! Bad Date TV: Bad Date Betty and the Blinged Out Bear Bad Date TV: Bad Date Ben – Dating While Pregnant Bad Date TV: Bad Date Betty – […]

  • BADONLINEDATES.COM CELEBRATES It’s Sixth Year Online and Dress for the Date

    Founder/CEO Jennifer Kelton Looks Back on 6 Years of Success With BadOnlineDates.com While Looking Ahead to Her Latest Venture, DressForTheDate.com LOS ANGELES, CA (October 2, 2013) – The website that pioneered the social sharing of bad dating experiences and advice, BadOnlineDates.com, celebrates it’s 6th year anniversary on October 18, 2013. Jennifer Kelton founded the site […]

  • Dress for the Date Interview With Ryan Seacrest (Kiss FM 102.7)

    Listen Here 102.7 KissFM On Air With Ryan Seacrest Related posts: [Press Release] Nationally Recognized Date Stylist Offers Free Service for One Lucky Candidate DressfortheDate.com Offers Fashion Advice for Dating Success Announcing Dress for the Date’s ‘Dress to Impress’ Giveaway