Daily Dating Advice Relationship tips and advice for dating.

Why I Got the ‘Manzilian’ Wax
Brazilians for guys? Increasingly popular, but not for the faint of heart
Newser

(Newser) – Jed Lipinksi didn’t realize it at first, but it would prove to be impossible for him to write a story about male waxing without getting waxed himself. After steadfastly declining several offers, Lipinski found himself getting a “Manzilian” from none other than Janea Padilha herself, the inventor of the Brazilian. And “the pain was almost unbearable,” he writes on Salon. “Afterwards, I felt shaky and emotional, but invigorated, as if I’d just walked away from a car accident unscathed.”

Along the way, Lipinski gleaned various fun facts about manscaping, which is growing in popularity. Among the more amusing tidbits: Women are “not comfortable with their husbands and boyfriends getting waxed by other men,” Padilha says, but men are concerned about becoming aroused by a female waxer—so, one aesthetician explains, “we hire only older women for the waxing, like your grandmother.” One 35-year-old female waxer explains why: Some men assume “that since they’re naked, you’re gonna give them head,” she says, recalling a time a client got so aggressive she had to taze him.

Read more: Newser

Jenny, Jenny, who can I turn to?
You give me something I can hold onto
I know you think I’m like the others before
Who saw your name and number on the wall
-Jenny/867-5309 Tommy Tutone

By Jack Elliot

The walls of the underground bar are chalkboard, completely blank- great areas of empty space waiting to be filled with aphorisms, insights, pictures, lists, portraits, messages, games of tic-tac-toe and hangman- blank canvases for any customer who desires to leave his or her mark. As a denizen of this chic new speakeasy-esque bar, I have had a great deal of time to observe the scrawlings, etchings, and musings of the public who stumble in and out on a regular basis. Being located in the heart of Santa Monica, a place often celebrated for its art and culture, wouldn’t one expect nothing but prolific eloquence, beauty, and perhaps even avant-garde cubism to sprout unendingly across the walls, as a testament to the brilliance of the city’s collective mind?

Alas, this does not seem to be the case. Since the walls are cleaned everyday by the bar staff, I have had the chance to witness the limitless potential of the chalkboards’ blank space become riddled with an onslaught of banal commentary (i.e. for free ASS call 867-5309) mammary glands, and most of all, phallic symbols- which only become more obscene and ubiquitous as the late night hours pile on and on. Although there’s the occasional inspirational quote or drawing peppered here and there (Tommy Tutone lyrics aside), by nine o’clock on a Saturday (needless to say, this is after the public has finished making love to their tonic and gin) these quotes are usually wiped out of existence by the myriad giant scrotum superimposed over them. Which then begs the question: Santa Monica, what is on your mind?

Should these scrawlings be considered a celebration of our nation’s sexual liberation? Should we laud and praise (perhaps even worship?) the phallic symbols- as a testament to the shedding of our puritanical values? Or rather, should we sympathize, commiserate, and buy rounds of drinks for these tortured artists, desperately trying to communicate the feelings of their most secret hearts? Or perhaps we should be alarmed, and interpret the caveman like etchings as a sign of the juvenile stagnation and arrested development of our nation’s collective imagination? Or should we just join in the fun and add hairs to the various genitalia, in an attempt to at least add some realism to the work (for artistic credibility, of course).

Regardless of the reasons behind and the interpretations of the artwork, one thing is clear: it is not an insignificant amount of the general drinking age public that still stands in pubescent-like fascination of the birds and the bees. Sigmund Freud, next rounds on you. And could some turn up that Tommy Tutone?

Tuesday’s Topic: Gals would you date a man wearing Jeggings and fellas would wear Jeggings. A dating do or a dating don’t?

Weird Trend from Men’s Fashion Week: Jeggings
By LEAH CHERNIKOFF
Fashionista

The runways for RTW Spring 2011 in Milan this past week have been littered with man-jeggings. (Neologism = meggings?) And T’s The Moment blog just confirmed it with a tweet: “Jeggings- new term coined for all the jean and trouser-like leggings and super slim, tight pants being shown here this season.”

The jegging is a risky and conflicted clothing item for most ladies. On the one hand, when done right, they’re just like skinny jeans only more comfortable (hooray for elastic waist bands!). On the other hand, they can be epically ugly and tricky to pull off.

And now, terrifyingly, men are following suit. Lauren even noticed man-jeggings at Top Shop back in January.

We’re hoping this isn’t a trend that trickles down. But we’ve seen enough too-tight skinny jean-ed ass-cracks along Bedford Ave. to know that hipsters aren’t parting with their beloved trousers anytime soon. So we’re looking at you, Williamsburg, when we say: Please, treat this trend responsibly.

Click through, at your own risk, to see man-jeggings on the runway. Fashionista

Bad Date TV: Bad Date Ben – Cougar Catcher

Johnny Cash & June Carter – Help Me Make It Through The Night

Sick of Dating – Chick Comedy

By Jennifer Kelton and By Jessica Downey

(Insert the sound of crackling old radio here.) You never know what will be spawned from just one simple question. And that’s exactly what evolved from Two Women, Two Cities, One Question. We have decided to do a follow-up, a highlight reel of sorts, from our freshly sharpened pencil and Lois Lane style reporting on dating and mating straight from the street. It is here where we will highlight some of the conversations spawned.

Los Angeles

1. Guy #2 – He went on to talk for quite awhile about his obsessive and neurotic qualities. (Apparently he just does not JUST “brush his teeth a lot.”)
2. Girl #5 – I asked her if by “creating her own story that meant that she did not have to worry about germs.” She laughed really hard and said yes!
3. Guy #14 & Girl #15 – They talked about “how that had just happened last night.”
4. Guy #17 – Not only did he tell me about “how he does not use a toothbrush.” He then proceeded to hit on me in front of his wife. Not cool!
5. Guy #22 & Girl #36 – They ended up having a whole conversation about lesbians behind the bar, then went on the ask the toothbrush question to the other female bartender

Chicago

1. Girl #2 – After talking to others she chimed in about how she didn’t think it was a big deal to not brush at all since there were many times she’s fallen asleep alone after a night of drinking without brushing her teeth
2. Guy #3 – He talked about how his friend has a whole drawer of toothbrushes but how he wasn’t sure if that was why. I mentioned how I usually had a couple extra toothbrushes in the drawer in college, but only if they came in packages of two or more of course.
3. Girl #7 – She talked about how she watches a lot of news shows and mentioned one that gave an inside look into a fast food restaurant. She saw some “not so appetizing things” which was part of the reasoning for her answer.
4. Girl # 8 – After she said no she then said even if she was dating the guy it would really depend on what it looked like. If it looked new she would use it but if not she probably never would. She then told a story about how once in college she used her roommates toothbrush but then found out someone had dropped it in the toilet – she said “I think I am scarred for life.”
5. Girl #20 – She mentioned how actually it’s more about the toothpaste and it took her longer to adjust to that than actually using her boyfriend’s toothbrush.
6. Guy #22 – When he said he would wait until he went home the next morning I asked what he would do if he had something important to do. He replied that he would just stop some place and buy some gum or mints. Girl #23 then said if she had something important to do she wouldn’t be staying there in the first place.

*Be on the lookout September 7th for the next Two Woman, Two Cites, One Question blog post.

By Jennifer Kelton

That’s why he didn’t call.

One week after avoiding two of my favorite local happy hour spots, I’m sitting at one of them, drinking a $4 happy hour draught, surrounded by dark mahogany. It’s the local Irish Pub. I’m on a first-name basis with the bartenders, here. I’m sitting on my bar stool, praying to God that he (Mr. Guy- Who-Didn’t Call) doesn’t walk in.

Have you ever felt the need to go on a “Dating Fast?” That’s exactly what I did. Not by choice, but for mental survival from December 2009 until now—August 2010.

It was seven months of not wondering why he’s not calling, texting and/or e-mailing. Instead, I focused on my company, which gives me plenty to think about on a day-to-day basis; spammers, scammers, bots, bugs, bills, content, rep management, PR, programmers, SEO, marketing, monetization, analytics… well, you get the corporate picture of being a one-woman business.

Falling off the dating wagon and my Man Fast seemed like a good idea at the time. But now? Not so much. You know that old saying “what you think, you will attract?” That’s exactly what I did—and it happened. Aka the Laws of Attraction.

I met a smart, funny, cute guy, made out with him and developed a major crush! I suppose after being on a Man Fast for seven months it was easy to develop feelings quickly, and he had a lot of those great qualities I was looking for—or so it seemed: until he didn’t call, text or e-mail.

Mr. Guy Who Didn’t Call turned into a major distraction. A few tears and tequila shots later, I decided to ask the bartender to tell me the “12 reasons that guys don’t call back.”

And this is what he said: (After remarking, “12 is pushing it.”)
1. He was really drunk and compromising.
2. He didn’t have an interesting night.
3. Bad kisser. (But I try to not kiss people that I’m not attracted to so…)
4. Bad sex.
5. Bottom line is: if he’s not calling, it’s because he thinks it’s not worth it, and he doesn’t care about you.

He’s right. If he’s not calling, it’s because he doesn’t care about you, and that’s a good reason to stop worrying and thinking about why he’s not calling.

But, you know, I was pondering what the bartender said when I was out running, and I realized that it hurts to feel like “someone doesn’t care,” because it makes me feel alone. I can honestly say during my seven-month Dating Fast, I have felt alone only once and that was just a few weeks ago when I had my root canal.

What do you think, girls? Do you feel alone when he doesn’t call? And guys, I’d love to know why you don’t call back!

Women prefer men in red, study shows
By the CNN Wire Staff

CNN) — Men on the prowl for a date may want to add red to their wardrobe.

A new multicultural study shows red is no longer just a sexy color for women. Men in red are considered just as appealing.

Women in China, the United States, England and Germany said they found men pictured wearing red, or surrounded by the color, more sexually attractive.

Women consider men in red as higher in status and more likely to climb the social ladder, according to Andrew Elliot, the lead author and professor of psychology at the University of Rochester.

The perception of high status is what leads to the attraction, he says.
Despite the cultural differences among women surveyed, the results were consistent, according to the study.

However, researchers said, the color only enhanced perceptions of status and romance, but not did not make the man seem more likable and kind.

“Women’s romantic preferences are of great interest … and although the popular media often portrays female sexuality as a mystery, scientific research has revealed several factors that influence women’s attraction to men,” the study says.

Authors attributed the color’s appeal to its historic use as a symbol of wealth and status. It is used in bold body paintings and necklaces in rituals and ceremonies in various cultures, including the Masai in east Africa.

“In primitive societies, sacred objects were painted or coated in red to enhance their potency and convey a sense of great importance,” the study says.

“In ancient China, Japan, and sub-Saharan Africa, red was viewed as a symbol of prosperity and high status. Classical Romans called the most powerful men ‘ “the ones who wear red.’ ”

The red effect was limited to women’s perception of men. Color did not make a difference when men rated the appeal of another male.

Authors conducted seven experiments, including the effect of red and white on a man’s attractiveness.
The study was published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology.

CNN

What are your thoughts are you more attracted to a man wearing red?

By Jennifer Kelton and By Jessica Downey

In walks Jennifer Kelton and Jessica Downey two modern day Lois Lane’s who are unabashedly hitting the pavement in their bustling hometowns of Los Angeles and Chicago. Armed with sharpened pencils and crisp white lined note pads, asking a total of 50 unsuspecting strangers of all ages, genders and demographics in random locations — the odd, the unusual and at times taboo questions involving all things dating and mating.

Be on the look out for a new topic and question each month.

This month’s question is:

“So, it’s the first time that you’ve spent the night over at the guy’s or girl’s house that you really like – you don’t have your toothbrush, would you use theirs?

Men
Total – 28 (Plus the guy that didn’t answer which is 29.)
No- 18
Yes – 6
Maybe – 4

Women
Total – 22
No – 15
Yes – 4
Maybe – 3

Los Angeles:

1. Age 27: Guy – Bartender “No, I would just leave. It’s critical to brush my teeth I don’t even let my girlfriend use it, or me hers.” Cute, tall, blonde, blue eyes, pen behind ear. “I like to drink a lot.”

2. Age 62: Guy – Random man at the Mexican bar. Married. “No, I’d go online and find the nearest 7-eleven.” Nice gold chain, nice gold watch, overall nice looking older guy. “I’ll stop at a gas station to brush my teeth if I have to, I brush my teeth a lot!”

3. Age 35: Guy – Random guy at the Mexican bar. “No!” Pretty arm tattoo, jewelry and super white sneakers. “I want a sandwich when I wake up, I’ve earned it come the morning time.”

4. Age 26: Guy – Bartender at Mexican restaurant. “This is the rule, if there was a fluid exchange, then it’s OK, if there was not a fluid exchange, NO WAY!” Nice blue eyes, handsome, hometown Chicago, actor good looks. “Funny, intelligent, self-aware, I know that I’m not the smartest guy in the room.”

5. Age 22: (Turning 23 on Aug. 10th) Girl – Random girl sitting on a stool on Main Street. “YES! Definitely I don’t have any problems with germs.” Indian bead earrings nose piercing. “Create you’re own story.”

6. Age 29: Guy – “NO!” Laughs, and say’s “NO” again… “I’d use hot water and swish it around if I had to.” Salesman at eyeglass store. Well dressed. “Complex, happy, content solemn (That’s my mood at the moment.) Quite…”

7. Age 35: Girl – Saleswoman at jewelry store also a designer “NO! I’d use my finger as a finger brush.” Wearing silver jewelry.” If I was dating I’d be considered a prude.”

8. Age 34: Girl – Saleswoman at jewelry store. “NO! Even my husband’s I would not use!” “I don’t know what to tell you about myself.”

9. Age 35: Guy – Parking attendant. “It would depend on how long I’ve know the girl. Men don’t care about that.” Scruffy in uniform.

10. Age 38: Guy – “Yea…” Clerk at mailbox store. Goatee, and long ponytail. “Um… Sunday’s and Wednesday’s at Saint’s & Sinners. (Where he’s a DJ.)

11. Age 22: Girl – Clerk at mailbox store, in uniform… Thinking…. “If it’s the boyfriend I’m with right now, yes, if it’s just a random guy No.” “It’s hard to do that.”

12. Age 19: Girl – Checker at Whole Foods. – Laughing “NO!” Blue flannel shirt

13. Age 44: Girl – Waitress at a Café. “NO! I’d look for another source” Cross necklace. “Life is good.”

14. Age 41: Guy – Random guy at restaurant “Yes, I would totally ask the woman I’m with.” White tee shirt, long hair. “Life is beautiful.”

15. Age 44: Girl – Random woman at restaurant. “No, but you can use my second one.” Wearing a tee shirt that said. “Woman who behave rarely make history.”

16. Age 77: Girl – Random woman at the bar, aging gracefully. “I don’t think so, it would depend on what it looked like.”. “I’m very happy with my family.”

17. Age 71: Guy – Random man at the bar. “I don’t use a toothbrush, I only use mouthwash. I have great enamel.” Wearing a black eye patch. “I have many lovers, I won’t tell you how many though.”

18. Age 21: Guy – Picking up take-out from an Irish pub. “NO” – smiles.. and laughs “It’s happened.” Laughs again. Blue tee shirt. “I like beer.”

19. Age 23: Guy – Works at the bar, aspiring writer who wants to learn more languages. “I guess it depends on how long we have been hanging out, but yes, definitely, definitely!” Nice rope bracelets. I asked about them “they have sentimental value.” “Madly in love with my girlfriend.… We met while volunteer teaching.”

20. Age 53: Guy – DJ at the bar. “Absolutely YES!” Wearing Rolling Stone Tee shirt.” We are one.”

21. Age 38: Guy – Parking attendant at hotel. “Probably not.” Nice suit and tie.” Outgoing, pleasant, stickler for facts.”

22. Age 38: Guy – Bartender at trendy bar. “Um… No of course not!” In black uniform. “I’m horny, more than most.”

23. Age 36: Girl – Bartender, in sexy black tank and stone turquoise necklace. “If he said OK, yea I probably would, but most likely I would just use my finger.” I don’t have anything to say about myself.”

24. Age 42: Guy – Drinking an Amstel Light at the bar. “NO!” Wearing a blue shirt and jeans. “I’m a happy person.”

25. Age 42: Guy – Drinking a cocktail a the bar. “NO! I do have all my fingers right – I’d finger brush.” Blue shirt and Jeans. “I like this burger.”

Chicago:

1. Age 22: Girl – Bar “No, not on the first night.” Blonde hair, wearing a white tanktop and jean shorts. “I am a college student.”

2. Age 24: Girl – Bar “No, I don’t think I would on the first night. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I am weird for using their toothbrush.” Brown hair, black dress with a v-neck, glasses.

3. Age 35: Guy – Bar “No, I think it’s disgusting. I would probably use to finger and toothpaste but I am not that worried about it.” Short dark hair wearing a red shirt with tan shorts. “I am single, never married.”

4. Age 27: Girl – Park “No way, that is disgusting.” Wearing purple flowered dress, short. “I am engaged and have never used his toothbrush.”

5. Age 45: Guy – Drugstore “No, I don’t even want to think about what is on the toothbrush. I wouldn’t like it if she used mine.” Blonde hair, wearing white shirt with stripes and black dress pants. “I was married once but now I am single. The divorce had nothing to do with a toothbrush.”

6. Age 21: Guy – Bar “No, not on the first night, I would use my finger and toothpaste. Actually I think it would be a dealbreaker if she used mine.” Blonde hair, wearing a red jacket with shirt underneath and shorts. “I am a college student.”

7. Age 24: Girl – Bar “Yes, I would have no problem with it. Think about all the other gross stuff you put in your mouth. Is a toothbrush that bad?” Dark brown hair straight with bangs, black shirt with writing – punk rocker feel.

8. Age 57: Girl – Supermarket “No, not on the first night but once we knew each other better so I knew where his toothbrush had been.” Brown hair, black suit with heels. “I am a lawyer, married and when I was single I always liked it when a guy bought extra toothbrushes for me.”

9. Age 38: Guy – Supermarket “Sure, why not I don’t think it’s a big deal and if she freaked out about it I am not sure I would want to date her.” Wearing blue shirt, jeans. “I work in advertising and I am single.”

10. Age 28: Guy – Bar “No definitely not. If I had bad breath I would just squirt the toothpaste in my mouth.” Blonde hair, wearing a white shirt and jeans.

11. Age 32: Girl – Park (near the lake) “No, not on the first night I would use my finger and toothpaste unless they had an extra one.” Blonde hair, wearing a white tanktop and jean shorts. “I am a lawyer and I just moved in with my boyfriend. I’m pretty sure he’s used my toothbrush.”

12. Age 35: Guy – near the lakefront “No, I would feel really weird about it and I am not sure how I would explain that to them.” Dark hair, wearing a white tanktop and plaid shorts. “I am single, working on my MBA.”

13. Age 46: Girl – Park “Yes, if I really liked them. That’s the kind of person I am and I assume they would already know.” Dark hair with lighter highlights, blue striped sundress. “I just moved here from Michigan, I am an accountant.”

14. Age 29: Guy – Farmer’s Market “Yes, I assume I would really like them since I am staying over there and if we are sleeping together a toothbrush is no big deal.” Bald, blue vintage shirt with Pepsi logo.

15. Age 37: Guy – Farmer’s Market “No, I would share drinks and food with them but a toothbrush no way.” Bald, wearing blue shirt and plaid shorts.

16. Age 30: Girl – Lakefront running path “No way, that is disgusting.” Dark hair with some red highlights, wearing a white tanktop and leggings.

17. Age 53: Guy – Drugstore “Maybe, it depends on how close we were and what stage in the relationship we were. Definitely not on a one night stand.” Salt and pepper hair white shirt black pants. “I do business development and marketing, I am single and have never been married.”

18. Age 20: Girl – Furniture Store “No, I think hygienic products are off limits for sharing.” Short Blonde hair, brown sun dress. “I do PR, I am engaged.”

19. Age 47: Guy – Restaurant (waiting for takeout) “Probably not, but I think it depends on where we were at in the relationship.” Wearing a black suite with white shirt and no tie. “I am married, no kids and I have a really boring office job that involves a lot of paper work.”

20. Age 22: Girl – Restaurant (waiting for takeout) “Sure, I use my boyfriends all the time. I can’t remember if I did it on the first night but I don’t think it’s gross.” Long Blonde hair, wearing a white dress.

21. Age 39: Guy – Park “No, but maybe once we were further along in the relationship.” Shirt with red cut off sleeves, black shorts.

22. Age 39: Guy – Drugstore “No, I would just wait until I went home in the morning.” Blonde hair, white t-shirt pajama pants with palm trees on them. “I don’t normally shop in pajama pants”

23. Age 49: Girl – Drugstore “No, I would wait until I went home the next morning or maybe bring my own.” Blonde hair, grey t-shirt dress

24. Age 44: Girl – Drugstore “No, I would just use mouthwash or squirt it in my mouth.” Blonde hair, Blue sundress.

25. Age 19: Girl – Park “No and I think I would be super freaked out if a guy used my toothbrush. Maybe I should start keeping them handy.” Blonde hair, white shirt with jean shorts. “I am a college student and I’m single.”

(Insert old crackling radio sound here.) This is Two Women, Two Cities and One Question signing off till the next time where we hit the reporters beat. And we also need to go sharpen our pencils. Over and out and thanks for reading.

*We would love your comments and thoughts on this topic. What would you do?