GENERAL UNIVERSITY NEWS
Press Release

Anguish Of Romantic Rejection May Be Linked To Stimulation Of Areas Of Brain Related To Motivation, Reward And Addiction
Study by team at Stony Brook University found biological evidence as to why emotions related to breaking up are so difficult to control

Jul 21, 2010 – 3:21:25 PM
STONY BROOK, N.Y., July 21, 2010 – Breaking up really is hard to do, and a recent study conducted at Stony Brook University found evidence that it may be partly due to the areas of the brain that are active during this difficult time.

The team of researchers, which included Arthur Aron, Ph.D., professor of social and health psychology in the Department of Psychology at Stony Brook University, and former graduate students Greg Strong and Debra Mashek looked at subjects who had a recent break-up and found that the pain and anguish they were experiencing may be linked to activation of parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward and addiction cravings. The study was published in the July issue of the Journal of Neurophysiology (http://jn.physiology.org/).

“This brain imaging study of individuals who were still ‘in love’ with their rejecter supplies further evidence that the passion of ‘romantic love’ is a goal-oriented motivation state rather than a specific emotion” the researchers concluded, noting that brain imaging showed some similarities between romantic rejection and cocaine craving. “The findings are consistent with the hypothesis that romantic love is a specific form of addiction.”

The study also helps to explain “why feelings and behaviors related to romantic rejection are difficult to control” and why extreme behaviors associated with romantic rejection such as stalking, homicide, suicide, and clinical depression occur in cultures all over the world, the researchers wrote.

“Romantic rejection is a major cause of suicides and depression. We have known very little about it. Understanding the neural systems involved is extremely important both for advancing our basic knowledge of intense romantic love in general and of response to rejection in particular,” said Dr. Aron. “The specific findings are significant because they tell us that the basic patterns seen in previous studies of happy love share key elements with love under these circumstances; they also tell us that what is unique to romantic rejection includes elements that are very much like craving for cocaine.”

The study was headed by Helen Fisher, a research professor and member of the Center for Human Evolutionary Studies at Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey, in New Brunswick, N.J., and co-author Lucy L. Brown of the Einstein College of Medicine of Yeshiva University, the Bronx, N.Y. The researchers used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to record brain activity in 15 college-age, heterosexual men and women who had recently been rejected by their partners. All reported that they were still intensely “in love” with that former partner, spent the majority of their waking hours thinking of the person who rejected them, and yearned for the person to return. Participants were shown a photograph of their former partner, then completed a simple math exercise to distract them from their romantic thoughts. They then viewed a photograph of a familiar “neutral” person.

The researchers found that viewing photographs of their former partners stimulated several key areas of the participants’ brains to a greater degree than when they looked at photos of neutral persons. The areas are:

* the ventral tegmental area in the mid-brain, which controls motivation and reward and is known to be involved in feelings of romantic love,
* the nucleus accumbens and orbitofrontal/prefrontal cortex, which are associated with craving and addiction, specifically the dopaminergic reward system evident in cocaine addiction, and
* the insular cortex and the anterior cingulate, which are associated with physical pain and distress.

“It shows that intense romantic love seems to function much like an addiction,” Dr. Aron said. “But that does not tell us one way or the other whether the desire to be in love in general is an addiction.” Dr. Aron noted that some of what has been learned over the years in this area may be useful in helping people attempting to recover from drug addiction.

The study also provided some evidence that “time heals all wounds”. Researchers found that as time passed, an area of the brain associated with attachment – the right ventral putamen/pallidum area – showed less activity when the participants viewed photographs of their former partners.

Part of the State University of New York system, Stony Brook University encompasses 200 buildings on 1,450 acres. In the 50+ years since its founding, the University has grown tremendously, now with nearly 24,700 students and 2,200 faculty and is recognized as one of the nation’s important centers of learning and scholarship. It is a member of the prestigious Association of American Universities, and ranks among the top 100 national universities in America and among the top 50 public national universities in the country according to the 2010 U.S. News & World Report survey. Considered one of the “flagship” campuses in the SUNY system, Stony Brook University co-manages Brookhaven National Laboratory , joining an elite group of universities, including Berkeley, University of Chicago, Cornell, MIT, and Princeton, that run federal research and development laboratories. SBU is a driving force of the Long Island economy, with an annual economic impact of $4.65 billion, generating nearly 60,000 jobs, and accounts for nearly 4% of all economic activity in Nassau and Suffolk counties, and roughly 7.5 percent of total jobs in Suffolk County.

General University News

By Jennifer Kelton

It was 2:44 A.M. when, for the third night in a row, I woke up with beyond extreme pain (the kind I would not wish on my worst enemy) from a root canal that I had just had days before. As I shuffled, with my bed head hair, blurry eyes and freshly washed fluffy white slippers, to the dark bathroom for some pain reliever in a child proof safety capped bottle, it was all too obvious how much it sucks, and at times is particularly scary, to have this level of intense pain alone. That is, except for the daily phone check-ins with my ever supportive and unconditionally loving mom and an emergency call to the Endodontist that had performed the not so pleasant dental procedure on Thursday.

Saturday was spent on the couch with an ice pack, an overdose of Advil, an Ativan hangover and watching back-to-back Season 1 episodes of Jersey Shore on MTV. I have never actually watched the show and I was curious as to what all the hype was about…

To put it in Mike’s aka “The Situation’s” words it’s about “GTL” which translates to “gym, tanning and laundry.”

I thought about this with my frozen, ice packed swollen face. It really comes down to the guys aka “Guidos” looking ripped, tanned and getting coiffed out in tacky Ed Hardy as a way to get girls. By the way, for the most part, the show is basically just about drinking and hooking-up.

According to the Urban Dictionary this is the exact definition of GTL:

The process of staying fresh and mint. Stands for “Gym, tan, laundry.” Must be done everyday to achieve maximum potential. Side effects include fist pumping. Coined by the eloquent Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino from MTV’s groundbreaking Jersey Shore.

You gotta GTL everyday to make sure you’re looking your best bro. If your shirt looks bad it makes the whole product look bad.

This morning after taking Advil and antibiotics and still feeling pretty beat-up from a weekend of pain I checked the spam folder on my personal e-mail account and it was filled with way too many messages from Match.com; a site which I have not been a member of for well over two years now.

I will say, as I looked at the numerous e-mails, it made me realize how nice it would be to have a boyfriend at times like this in order to feel that kind of love. Despite what Mike “The Situation” may think — it’s not just about GTL (gym, tan and laundry) in life, it’s about love. Love is not just a drug — love also heals.

Hum, I just may start dating again…

By Jessica Downey

As someone who has been dating on the internet since before dating on the internet was the thing to do I can honestly say that things have come a long way. There are dating sites to meet millionaires, people of the same religious background and even the most “beautiful” people in the world. Actually you can even meet people to have an affair with. In addition to dating sites people can even use social networking sites like Twitter or Facebook to meet and date people (I admit it, I have done it). So yeah, it’s safe to say it’s fairly easy to meet someone.

It is funny though that the exact things that have been invented to help bring the world together are also the things that are causing us to separate from each other (that is from actual human interaction).

There seems to be this idea that if you haven’t actually met each other then maybe you don’t really matter all that much. I’ve often found myself thinking “who am I, just some girl from the internet” as I am chatting with a man I have yet to meet (actually to be technical I’ve found myself saying it to them as well). It seems logical, I mean, who am I really? I am a screename on Twitter or a profile on a dating site or five random pictures that I have posted on my profile.

A few days ago a guy sent me a message on Twitter asking what I was up to later that day. We exchanged a few messages and agreed we should meet up for a drink sometime. Next thing I knew he was asking for my Blackberry pin (not my phone number) so he could BBM (Blackberry Messenger) me. Then a few days later I noticed he was sending the same type of messages to other women. How did this guy think that I wouldn’t notice? Honestly, I wonder if he even thought about it.

I have also had several instances where I have been chatting with a guy from the internet and had him ask for my phone number only to turn around and text me. He didn’t text just to set up a date, but to have an actual conversation. Why not just pick up the phone and call me?

Then we have Four Square. About a month ago I was waiting for a guy at my place only to find out he was checking in to sushi with his friends on Four Square (oops). Apparently Four Square (and all of Twitter) needed to know where he was before the woman that was waiting for him to show up.

Now, I know that I probably shouldn’t let these things bother me, but fact of the matter is I am a human being and with that comes a certain amount of feelings (even if I like it or not). Even if we meet a way that doesn’t utilize human interaction that doesn’t change the fact that I am still a human being.

There are certain things that I don’t want to see on the internet anymore than I want to see in person (like you sending out mass messages to every hot girl amongst your followers). There are also things that I don’t want to find out via the internet but that I would rather find out with a phone call (like you have to cancel a date because you were tied up with friends).

Bottom line is just because I am “some girl from the internet” doesn’t erase the fact that I am a human being with actual feelings.

Jessica Downey is a freelance writer who lives in Chicago who writes about dating and life as a single woman. She currently writes for ChicagoNow.com and has written for Examiner.com

The BadOnlineDates iPhone App has got your back because we understand there are some moments that are so special – you need to share them in real time with someone who’s in the online dating trenches with you.

Dear Disaster,
What advice do you have for a non serial killer, relatively clean, disease free, attractive and bored guy to meet women worthy of me?
Yours,
FreeWheelin’

Dear Napoleon,
I think you pose a very challenging question. How do you meet someone that is actually worthy of you? This would be so much easier if we were on Dancing with the Stars. We could just let Bruno get rid of the ones who are not telegenic or who dance like robots. But alas, in reality we’re left alone with the hunt. If you really want to land a special non-serial killer lady, here are a couple of ideas:

1. Stand out from the pack. Avoid the black fleece mafia. Once you join, you surrender your personal identity completely. When you approach a woman in a bar, she won’t know if she was just flirting with you, or your friend. All black fleece people look the same.

2. Hang out in places that normies like to frequent. I’d say banks, but I’ve tried this, and eventually security starts asking questions. That said, grocery stores on Sunday nights are fantastic. First of all, since you’re meeting a woman at the the grocery store she probably eats food — congratulations! You already share so much in common. And second, this probably means she cooks. Which means she’s well-off enough to have a kitchen! Score.

3. Chivalry is not dead. I know this because he lives in my building . He holds the elevator door for me and sometimes, he helps me bring out the trash. Do this. And when you go out next time, don’t order a woman a drink. Bor-ing. Send her over dessert. Unlike booze, chocolate is an aphrodisiac that she’ll actually remember. And more importantly, you’ve just told her that you think she’s skinny enough to enjoy dessert. You’re in.

Good luck with the hunt.

Yours,
 Disaster

By, Kira Sabin – The Dating Makeover Coach

As a dating coach, it is inevitable that every few months I get a question asking what I think of the current Bachelor/Bachelorette. Honest moment. I haven’t watched it for years since “Bob the Bachelor” was on there. Why? Because honestly, it is hard to digest. Don’t get me wrong, is it good, addictive entertainment? Hell yeah! Does it have ANYTHING to do with love and creating a great relationship? Nope. Not one bit.

I love guilty pleasures and have a few of my own that include, as my friend C found out last week, The Thong Song by Sisqo. Yet, I don’t actually believe that Sisqo knows some universal truth about underwear, it is just a silly, catchy song by a short guy with bad silver hair.

So if you are a die hard Bachelor(ette) fan, here are 3 things to keep in mind.

3. They are all drunk. Seriously, has no one else noticed how much champagne they drink? I wonder if there would really be so many fights, make-outs, hot tub scenes or tears if they weren’t boozing it up all the time. Why wouldn’t they think they were falling in love when they are constantly liquored up? It’s like 24-7 beer goggles.

2. Where do they get these people? I mean seriously? I love the fact that they are supposedly “real” guys and gals just like us, but if any of these guys that they are showing previews of on Hulu were my clients, I would maybe have to rethink my business. Want proof? One of the guys is nicknamed “Shooter.” He received the nickname in college because he prematurely ejaculated and decided to tell the Bachelorette the first night. Really?

What about “Bear” who claims there are no women in the secluded area he is from called….Colorado?!? Really? People, I can’t make this stuff up!

1. Don’t be confused, it is just entertainment. Though it is not as fun to believe, reality shows are known to be manipulated, as well as, even scripted sometimes. They add the hot messes knowing that they will be dramatic and make better television. They set up ridiculously romantic situations that don’t really create the chance to find out if someone is a great communicator, a partner that will help with the cooking and cleaning, can help pay the bills and has a similar relationship style. All stuff that starts mattering when the booze wears off and you are faced with real life. Although, not as romantic as jetting off to Hawaii like they do on The Bachelor(ette), that is when life gets good.