By, Kira Sabin – The Dating Makeover Coach

As a dating coach, it is inevitable that every few months I get a question asking what I think of the current Bachelor/Bachelorette. Honest moment. I haven’t watched it for years since “Bob the Bachelor” was on there. Why? Because honestly, it is hard to digest. Don’t get me wrong, is it good, addictive entertainment? Hell yeah! Does it have ANYTHING to do with love and creating a great relationship? Nope. Not one bit.

I love guilty pleasures and have a few of my own that include, as my friend C found out last week, The Thong Song by Sisqo. Yet, I don’t actually believe that Sisqo knows some universal truth about underwear, it is just a silly, catchy song by a short guy with bad silver hair.

So if you are a die hard Bachelor(ette) fan, here are 3 things to keep in mind.

3. They are all drunk. Seriously, has no one else noticed how much champagne they drink? I wonder if there would really be so many fights, make-outs, hot tub scenes or tears if they weren’t boozing it up all the time. Why wouldn’t they think they were falling in love when they are constantly liquored up? It’s like 24-7 beer goggles.

2. Where do they get these people? I mean seriously? I love the fact that they are supposedly “real” guys and gals just like us, but if any of these guys that they are showing previews of on Hulu were my clients, I would maybe have to rethink my business. Want proof? One of the guys is nicknamed “Shooter.” He received the nickname in college because he prematurely ejaculated and decided to tell the Bachelorette the first night. Really?

What about “Bear” who claims there are no women in the secluded area he is from called….Colorado?!? Really? People, I can’t make this stuff up!

1. Don’t be confused, it is just entertainment. Though it is not as fun to believe, reality shows are known to be manipulated, as well as, even scripted sometimes. They add the hot messes knowing that they will be dramatic and make better television. They set up ridiculously romantic situations that don’t really create the chance to find out if someone is a great communicator, a partner that will help with the cooking and cleaning, can help pay the bills and has a similar relationship style. All stuff that starts mattering when the booze wears off and you are faced with real life. Although, not as romantic as jetting off to Hawaii like they do on The Bachelor(ette), that is when life gets good.

By Jennifer Kelton

It’s estimated about 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in their marriage. Womensavers.com (Hello, Ashleymadison.com)

While it’s extremely difficult to get the precise numbers, I can say that unfortunately, unknowingly, and very much to my Brazilian waxed vaginal dismay I became part of 2009’s infidelity statistic. This unequivocally and absolutely goes against every grain of my moral, cellular and ethical being. And now my poor unsuspecting adulterous vagina — I just found out about this sexual and dishonorable tidbit of information last night over a Guinness beer at one of my favorite local Irish pubs.

I don’t remember the exact day, but what I do remember is that it was one of those typical warm California Summer nights — I recall feeling salty, sandy, and tanned from spending the afternoon at the beach, despite having taken a shower before heading out for food and cocktails. I was wearing black short shorts, brown equestrian style boots, and a vintage western blouse as I breezily went for sushi happy hour at an extremely trendy Venice Beach hot spot.

Once there, I ended up bumping into a local guy/friend that I once casually dated and his other friends at the bar. The guy I used to date had one friend who just so happened to be tall, dark and devilishly handsome. I was attracted to him immediately and the more he flirted with me the more charming and engaging he became.

The possibility of romance going further than the bar was absolutely the gigantic cartoonish caption bubble hovering over my captivated swooning head – A devilishly handsome flirty guy along with his tempting wooing ways was just too impossible to be true. However, he was I’d like to blank your brains out too hot to ignore.

As we all finished up at the bar, devilishly handsome guy invited me back to his swanky shoreline Santa Monica hotel for cocktails and while at the hotel’s bar the flirting became more sexual, but I was not objecting — perhaps he is “the one”?

Our heated exchange went on for about an hour and then he authoritatively asked for and paid our tab while simultaneously asking me if I wanted to go to his room. I’m not naive and figured that once getting there, I would go only as far as I wanted (sex wise). Immediately, when we got into the room he ordered a really good bottle of wine and it did not take long before we were on the bed kissing, clothes off, and having sex.

One thing that really pops out in my mind (no pun intended) was his forcefulness as he pushed my head to his “head” which in retrospect now seems to be overtly selfish behavior on his behalf. And what I now know became to be a one night stand with a married man.

He got up quickly right after he came and went to take a shower, as I laid there for a fast minute I knew I had to leave — something was not right. As I put my clothes back on, I wondered if I should leave my business card or my number on the hotel notepad. I opted not to and left quickly while he was still in the shower. I could see the steam drifting out from the slight crack in the pristine five-star hotel door….

To be continued.

By Jessica Downey

Even though things have evolved and been updated, unconventional ways of meeting people have been around since before I was born (actually since before I was even though of to be technical). Living proof is with my parents, who met through a dating service nearly 40 years ago.

My mom saw an ad in a local newspaper in Indiana for a dating service. They sent her a form to fill out (much like the questionnaires for internet dating sites) which she had to send back. Then, the service sent her a list of her matches – with their names, addresses and phone numbers.

That’s right; just the basics which didn’t include a picture. Today, most people wouldn’t think of meeting without seeing numerous pictures of you from all possible angles. Most people also wouldn’t even think about sharing their address before meeting in person (for some people that may even take a few dates).

There was also no sexting or sharing of naked pictures before meeting. Actually there really wasn’t even any sort of conversation about sex at all.

Likewise, dating has also changed a lot since my parents met. My mom met a number of guys from the dating service before meeting my dad and there was a recurring theme – the man took the lead. Nice girls didn’t chase after boys then, so my mom never called a guy or asked him out on a date.

My mom never paid for a single date. Actually, my mom didn’t even offer to pay for a single date. If she had, this would imply she didn’t think her date could afford to take her out (which would clearly be an insult). In fact, one time my mom took my dad out for his birthday and my grandma thought she was crazy. The only money she really brought was a quarter in case she had to call my grandpa for a ride home (and she only had to do that once because a man couldn’t keep his hands to himself).

During the date, the man was very attentive. He always pulled out chairs for her, opened the door for her and even ordered for her. She never once saw this as an insult or thought anyone felt she was incapable of doing these things herself. It was simply just being polite.

Clearly interactions between men and women have changed since the time when my parents met and at times it seems as though that whole chivalry thing is slowly dying. I can’t help but wonder something though. Years ago, so many men were chivalrous because it was expected. Granted, I am sure it was genuine sometimes but not always. On the other hand, now men do it because they want to. It kind of seems it’s more likely to be genuine now. So, is quantity really better than quality?

Jessica Downey is a freelance writer who lives in Chicago who writes about dating and life as a single woman. She currently writes for ChicagoNow.com and has written for Examiner.com

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Episode is filled with dating humor and sex humor.

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