By Jillian Weingart

He was holding my hand gently as we walked up to my front door. I turned to face him expecting to receive a hug or a simple good bye. Before I knew it, he thrust me up against the door and we were engaged in a make-out session so intense that it could make a porn star blush.

This guy had come into my bar earlier that day for lunch. Him and a friend were taking the train to see some sports game. However, this young gentleman had such a nice time, that he decided to skip the game and hang out with me until I got off of work so that he could buy me a drink. Romantic, right?

I pulled away from our kissing fest and gave him one last smooch on the cheek, wishing him goodnight.

“Good night, Jillian” he said with a smile.

I looked longingly at my beau, checking my drunk memory for the name to match the face. Hmmm. Not a single name came to mind, and I rushed into my apartment to avoid potential embarrassment.

Bartenders don’t get to see this “forgetting” stage very often. We are the people that get you to forget. The OBVIOUS solution is to just ask. But, for some reason, humans find this embarrassing. There is a stigma that comes with making out without asking someone’s name. “Thank you for searching the back of my mouth for treasure. Now please identify yourself.”

But what do you do, in the parlance of my profession, when you’re in the middle of mixing a cocktail and can’t remember what’s inside your mixer?

Like the dude from Memento, I had to piece together the clues without help from my memory. Asking Bartendress Jane who served us the night before would be the best option, but she wasn’t working again for a few days and I needed the answer immediately. Looking at the credit card reports might yield some answers, but I couldn’t easily match drink totals to his name. And unless his name happens to be “Cute Guy at Bar,” the name I put in my phone wasn’t helpful.

Well, that was that, I ruined another potentially awesome relationship. I really liked this guy, too, and we could have had a great relationship; eventually it probably would have turned serious. We could have made a happy couple, walking our matching Bedlington Terriers through Santa Monica on the way to picking up our lovely twins Oliver and Olive from the Montessori school. If only.

Right at that moment, he sent me a text. “Hi.” My mind started to race. How could I trick him into telling me his name without revealing that I hadn’t caught it in the first place? I took a shot:

“I totally think you went to school with my friend. What’s your last name?”

He was on to me.

“Why?” He texted back, “I told you last night.”

Well, hell. I felt my face get red. How embarrassing was this going to be? Before I could respond to him, I felt my phone buzz. I looked down at my phone and read this:

“Look, I really like you. All you have to do is ask what my name is. And it’s Trent. It’s nice to meet you ☺”

So what is the etiquette for this socially awkward dilemma? For people who like to hook up with a stranger and could care less about names, just leave in the morning. For people who want to see their mystery man or woman again, just ask. It might make you feel like the rapture is coming and you just got left behind, but in the end you will have a cute story for your grandchildren. And also, you won’t have to bug your favorite bartender about it. She can now concentrate on making you and your new hubby your favorite martini.

By Jack Elliot

PDA. It doesn’t look so bad when you read it- just three simple letters minding their own business, respectfully keeping their appendages to themselves, and not really doing anything to disturb you. But when these letters are taken off the page and are brought into reality, they can get ugly real fast, as I’m sure you can attest.

Unfortunately, witnessing and putting up with large amounts of PDA on an almost day-to-day basis is one of the more negative aspects of a bartending job. Which leads me to the question: why do people, or should I say, “sloppy drunks,” choose to engage in these public displays of affection?

Is it to 1) show off how hot and steamy their relationship is?
Is it to 2) make you writhe with jealousy?
Is it because 3) their unbridled love is so passionate that it cannot wait till later on?
Or is it because 4) they are wasted and aren’t really thinking about the world outside of them?

Where does this desire to distastefully exhibit your love to the world around you stem from?

In response to question 1, if a couple is engaging in PDA to show how hot and steamy their relationship is, they have many, many issues. First off, if there relationship is so hot and steamy, there really shouldn’t have been any reason for them to leave their room to start with. And in addition, if the couple would rather make out and grope each other instead of having conversation and enjoying each other’s company, it probably follows that they don’t have a lot of things to say to each other and are more than likely relying on lust to keep their relationship going.

In response to question 2, if a couple is trying to make you jealous by there PDA and it’s working, this means that you’re a creep and have nothing better to do but watch other people make out at a bar.

In response to question 3, perhaps a couple does have an astounding level of sexual chemistry and attraction, which is all well and good. But if they are engaging in massive amounts of PDA, they probably lack a certain maturity and respect for each other, which are two essential aspects to any healthy relationship.

In response to question 4, from my observations, being wasted seems to contribute the most to excessive PDA. It is as if people who are normally able to keep their hands to themselves lose all control after a few drinks. And if being wasted is a couple’s reason for engaging in PDA, well then they sure as hell better leave a good tip.

But when it comes down to it, any reason behind PDA does not matter- because there is absolutely no way to justify it. It is incredibly distasteful, inappropriate, and rude. You’re into each other. You both get it. We get it. Everyone in the bar gets it. Which leaves only one thing left for you to get…

By Kari DePhillips

Across the globe, people young and old engage in the elaborate social ritual known as “dating.” However, what that means can vary from country to country. As a result, it’s important to arm yourself with as much knowledge as possible – especially if you’re into accents. For example:

In Britain, men are far less likely to write love poems and make other romantic gestures. Instead, a Brit often purchases sexy lingerie for the woman of his dreams. And that’s probably where she’ll stay, if he doesn’t stop buying a thong instead of roses every time he does something wrong.

Don’t expect to get lucky on the first date in South Korea. It might take up to two months for a Korean couple to exchange even a kiss on the cheek. A long-term relationship might include some action, but only after a year or longer. How long do you wait before doing the deed?

In Thailand, dating isn’t just between a guy and a girl. If a couple decides to start dating, they’ll bring along family members and discuss a wide variety of issues, from politics to business. Thai people like to be educated and well versed in many different topics, and want to impress both their potential partner and their entire extended family. Oh, the pressure!

In some parts of India, dating only begins after marriage has been arranged by the couple’s parents. When the happy couple meets for the first time, they are expected to accept or reject the person within days of meeting, if not that very same day…and you thought Thai dating was stressful!

If you’re a man in Spain, get used to holding doors. And ladies, don’t offer to pay. Not only is it expected that he’ll treat, you might even offend him. Gender roles are considered a time-honored tradition throughout Spain. Invitations to a date are often very formal, and the date itself may come only after meeting your crush’s entire family. North of Spain lies Sweden, where women are expected to take the initiative. They’re responsible for getting the phone number and making the first move, usually by text.

Australians are known for being exceedingly fair. Blokes and sheilas tend to go halfsies on dates. Of course, equality applies to drinking as well, since women as well as men are expected to purchase rounds for the entire drinking party.

Where do you stand on the gender divide? Should men pay on dates, or should they split it equally? Is it chivalrous or insulting when a man opens the door for a woman? Let us know in the comments section – in the meantime, I’ll be packing my bags for Spain.

Sasha Speaks 11.8.10

Dear Sasha,

Sincerely,
In love but sexless

Dear Sexless,
There’s a big difference between no sex drive and not even kissing for months. Have you asked your guy what the problem is? It might narrow down the number of issues possibly at hand.

I used to date a man who took Propecia to stop his premature balding and that killed his libido for a few months. Lots of medications are known to dampen the mood so it’s possible your boyfriend’s prescriptions are gumming up the works. Low libido is also an early warning sign of MS but it could very well be that your dude drinks too much, does too many drugs, has a negative body image or is simply depressed.

Those are all the general, easy-to-swallow reasons why your love life could be flagging.

But there are also rougher possibilities.

Have you considered that he might be getting his kicks elsewhere? He also may be gay and you might be his very fashionable beard. Or perhaps he’s moved on emotionally and physically from the relationship but hasn’t found the words to tell you yet.

The truth is, it could be any number of issues and the only way to diagnose the root of the problem is to have an open, frank conversation with your boyfriend about why the thrill is gone. But you need to be prepared for whatever he may say.

It’s time to ask both yourself and him a very difficult but important question: How can you be in a loving relationship with someone without sex or physical intimacy? Because it sounds to me that what you have on your hands is an amazing friendship, not the man you’re going to marry. And, honestly, would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t relish at the idea of getting you naked or consider it an honor to kiss you good night?

If you want to try to resuscitate your DOA sex life, the next time you and your man are sitting around on the couch, watching Dancing with the Stars or what have you, don’t say a word, just pull down his underoos and see how he responds to a little oral stimulus package. I can’t think of a man on this earth who would balk at such an act. If he does, you know you have some serious talking to do. If he goes with it, maybe he’s just been waiting for you to invite him to let his freak flag fly.

Good luck!

*Feel free to email us with any dating, relationship, love and sex questions you may have for Sasha.

Sasha Speaks 10.18.10

“Dear Sasha
I’ve been dating this girl for the past few months. Things are pretty serious, we’ve slept together and say ‘I love you,’ and it’s all great, except that I used to go out with her friend and that makes things a little tense and weird from time to time.

How can I alleviate the tension?

Sincerely,
“Doug the Double Dipper”

Dear Double Dipper-

I can practically smell the stench of awkwardness from here. It’s thicker than the fog of Dolce Gabbana cologne coming off a GLT-ing guido in Ed Hardy fist pumping his way through a Saturday night on the prowl.

Blech!

First of all, I’m gonna guess that “a little tense and weird” is your guy speak for what most people, especially women, would deem a major s*%tstorm. And I don’t think you packed an umbrella. If you’ve been naked with two women who have to co-exist, the only way to alleviate the tension is to make sure the girl you dated first gets married or starts doinking George Clooney so she won’t have to wallow in the fact that you’ve moved on with someone she knows.

And speaking of, who is this hussy you’re dating?!?!

She violated Girl Rule Numero Uno: You don’t date your friend’s man! That means guys your friends have dated, slept with, made out with, or even crushed on.

Sure, guys have no problem passing a girl along to their friends, but women don’t operate like that.

If I found out one of my girlfriends hooked up with Simon Retner-Warner, who I “went with” for two days before dumping him during third period French class in 7th grade, I’d be pissed. I don’t care if it happened in junior high, I Columbus-ed that ass. I stuck a flag in it and now it’s done.

There are billions of people on this planet; why recycle booty within a friend circle? Even Al Gore can’t get behind that kind of behavior. Besides, how weird is it that now the two of them can sit in a room and say things like, “Don’t you love it when Doug does A, B,C and D?” Girls talk about everything, in vivid, gory detail. The fact that these women can compare notes on your sexual stats doesn’t make them bond, it makes them bitter.

*Feel free to email us with any dating, relationship, love and sex questions you may have.

By Jennifer Kelton and By Jessica Downey

In walks Jennifer Kelton and Jessica Downey two modern day Lois Lane’s who are unabashedly hitting the pavement in their bustling hometowns of Los Angeles and Chicago. Armed with sharpened pencils and crisp white lined note pads, asking a total of 50 unsuspecting strangers of all ages, genders and demographics in random locations — the odd, the unusual and at times taboo questions involving all things dating and mating.

Be on the look out for a new topic and question each month.

I want long, straight, curly, fuzzy, shaggy, shaggy, ratty, matty,
oily, greasy, fleecy, shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen,
knotted, polka dotted, twisted, beaded, braided,
powered, flowered and confettied, bangled, tangled, spangled and spaghettied.

~Lyrics from the song and musical Hair

Question: It’s your first date with someone you’ve had a crush on at work for a good amount of time. Since it’s an office environment you both have been in business attire. It’s a hot day and you meet at the park for a bike ride — He or she shows up and you notice an excessive amount of body hair.

She does not shave her legs and or arm pits. (Hello, Jungle Jane, you wonder if maybe she just forgot?)

He has unusual amounts of back, underarm and arm hair. (Hello Grizzly Adams, is he that hairy everywhere?)

Do you still have a “crush” or is all that hair a buzz kill (and in fact needs an actual buzzer…) for sexual attraction?

Guys – Still have a crush:6 Buzz kill:19 (Total 25)
Girls – Still have a crush:12 Buzz kill:13 (Total 25)

Los Angeles:

1. Age 43: Guy – Married English man sitting at the bar in the LAX Red Carpet Club. “Straight out the window a BIG NO, NO!”

2. Age 62: Guy – Bartender at the LAX Red Carpet Club. “Buzz kill!” Laughing hard while wearing his uniform. “No, No, No.”

3. Age 24: Girl – Receptionist at waxing salon. “No, not a buzz kill.” Cute girl in yellow dress with tattoo across her chest. “Love is good.”

4. Age 32: Girl – Receptionist at waxing salon. “Nope not a buzz kill.” Very dark black hair with thick accent. “Happy, optimistic, lucky.”

5. Age 34: Girl – Receptionist at hair salon with plumeria flower behind ear. “OH, honey that’s a buzz kill!” Very disgusted look. “I don’t like hairy guys and NO office affairs!” “Kinda grossed out by that first question.”

6. Age 47: Guy – Sitting at the bar at a Mexican restaurant. “No of course not.”

7. Age 39: Girl – Sitting at the bar at a Mexican restaurant. “None of the above that would have been a nightmare.” “It’s interesting that we met at happy hour.”

8. Age 39: Guy – Clerk at mailing center, in uniform. “Might not be, doesn’t help – but she just might be really HOT!” “No more plugs.”

9. Age 25: Girl – Clerk at mailing center in uniform with cute dimples. “It’s killed YOU gotta GO!!!” “Um do you want to go for waxing?”

10. Age 47: Guy – Sales clerk at beauty counter wearing nice black shirt. “Yes, it’s a sexual buzz kill – but I would have noticed before by the arm and neck hair, I’m gay.” “Um, some people like hair.”

11. Age 41: Girl – Sales clerk with great laugh in a black suit at woman’s clothing store. “YES, GROSS!” Laughing. “That’s nasty…”

12. Age 43: Guy – Wearing a nice striped button down shirt at swanky Beverly Hills hotel bar. “BUZZ kill!” “WAX it.”

13. Age 47: Guy – Bartender in uniform at swanky Beverly Hills hotel bar. “It’s not my thing but if it’s an extended crush, I would over look it in a guy, I’m gay. But if it were a woman it would for sure be a buzz kill.”

14. Age 24: Girl – Bartender in uniform at a swanky Beverly Hills hotel bar. “Buzz kill, for sure a buzz kill!”

15. Age 23: Girl – Sitting at bar in black sweatshirt. “It’s a buzz kill!” “Tequila is the best drink ever!”

16. Age 21: Girl – Sitting at bar in striped shirt from the mid west. “I think a little chest hair is sexy, but if you are talking monkey, it’s a buzz kill and that draws the line.” “I call men with chest hair ‘June bugs’ and then I twizzle the hair.”

17. Age 24: Girl – Sitting at bar wearing a yellow shirt, from the mid west. “Buzz kill as far as sexual relations, but we can still be friends.” “Just live!”

18. Age 36: Guy – Cashier at station behind glass in uniform. Laughing… “I would still like her. It all depends on the conversations – outside is different from the inside, most people look at each other from the outside not the inside.”

19. Age 47: Guy – Film Editor. “There are too many factors. Is she a hippie chick? Is she corporate with a bun? I may be attracted. But if I’m attracted to a Hollywood perfect princess, I would still be interested being the dog I am. There is a lot of extenuating circumstances.”

20. Age 37: Guy – Bartender at trendy Santa Monica sushi restaurant in uniform. “Kills it.” “Maintenance!”

21. Age 33: Guy – Waiter at trendy Santa Monica sushi restaurant in uniform. “Buzz Kill.” “I love sex.”

22. Age 34: Guy – Waiter at trendy Santa Monica sushi restaurant in uniform. Laughing… “It would kinda be a buzz kill, actually that happened to me, but it worked out. I convinced her to shave. But initially it would be a buzz kill, but pretty is pretty.” “Live long and prosper.”

23. Age 30: Girl – Waiter at trendy Santa Monica sushi restaurant in uniform. “Buzz kill, the most important thing in a relationship is hygiene.”

24. Age 33: Girl – In shorts and tee shirt walking a pug dog in a quiet residential street in Culver City. “Buzz Kill, the whole hair thing…”

25. Age 38: Girl – In shorts and tee shirt walking a pug dog in a quite residential street in Culver City. “Buzz kill…Ewww…!”

Chicago:

1. Age 28: Guy – At the 7-Eleven buying a Slurpee. Wearing a white shirt with cut off shorts. “The hair is a turn off, the crush is totally gone unless she forgot to bring the weed wacker.”

2. Age 25: Girl – At a bar, waiting for a friend and drinking a beer. Wearing a black shirt and white pants with a very pretty sparkly necklace. “I don’t mind a little hair as long as grooming is a big part of the guy’s routine. If it was so much hair that I’m distracted from out conversation or activity I might have to reconsider.” “I’m a cultural journalist in Chicago.”

3. Age 43: Guy – Running along the lake front path (stopped for a break). Wearing tight spandex black shorts and a tank top. “The crush is definitely gone, hair should only be in the normal spots on a woman.” “Life is good.”

4. Age 44: Guy – Running along the lake (stopped for a break). Wearing navy blue running shorts and an Indiana University T-shirt. “If it’s her underarms and legs the crush is definitely gone, especially if it looks like she hasn’t shaved in a while. I can work with the other spots.”

5. Age 57: Girl – Waiting at the bar for a table at a restaurant. Wearing a black dress with big red earrings and very high red heels. Laughs and says “I’d definitely still have a crush. Actually if he didn’t have hair I would lose the crush and question his manhood.” “I still like tequila.”

6. Age 22: Girl – Walking her dog in the park. Wearing black leggings, a long red shirt and a pretty flowered headband. “It wouldn’t bother me as long as it is well maintained.” “I secretly wished I had x-ray vision.”

7. Age 21: Guy – Walking in the park with a girl walking a dog. Wearing tan shorts and a blue vintagy looking shirt. “How much hair are we talking about here? I think if she was totally opposed to ever removing her body hair I would stop seeing her. If she was willing to remove it but just hadn’t then I would be okay.” “I am applying to law schools. I love Chicago.”

8. Age 49: Guy – Sitting at a bar drinking a Stella. Wearing black dress pants and dark red shirt. “The crush would be gone, I can’t stand hairy women at all. Except for you know, their arms and head.” “I am waiting for my first blind date ever.”

9. Age 37: Guy – Waiting in the checkout line at Walgreens. Wearing a white shirt with crazy patterns and dark jeans, sunglasses. “I would stop seeing her. No hair, no way, no how. “I rock.”

10. Age 37: Girl – Waiting in the checkout line at Walgreens. Pretty flowered halter top, jean skirt and flip flops. “I would stop seeing him. I do not like hairy guys. I can handle mild hair on the legs and arms, but other than that please remove it.” “I just got engaged and I do hair for a living.”

11. Age 49: Guy – Ordering drinks at a bar. Wearing a white shirt with jeans and brown shoes. Salt and pepper hair. “I wouldn’t be too grossed out if it was well maintained but I think I would ask her if she planned on keeping it that way forever.” “I am divorced, no kids and I am an accountant.”

12. Age 50: Guy – Waiting for takeout food. Wearing running shorts and a tank top. “Hair is never attractive on a woman, but we could still be friends.” “Love, love, love – should I say It two more times to make it five words.” Laughs.

13. Age 30: Girl – Ordering a drink at a bar. Wearing a tight blue dress with pretty gold earrings and a very chunky bracelet. “Hair doesn’t bother me at all. Sometimes it’s nice to snuggle up to a man with a hairy chest.” “It’s my birthday, I just turned 30 today and I’m feelin’ good.”

14. Age 32: Girl – Literally ran into her at the park, she was running and not paying attention. Wearing black running shorts and a black t-shirt. Laughed hysterically. “I am fine with hair as long as it is well maintained and he is not smelly.” “I’m sorry I ran into you.”

15. Age 35: Girl – Waiting in line at a clothing store. Wearing dark jeans and a grey shirt. Pretty blue earrings. “The crush would totally be gone. I actually make my boyfriend shave his whole body.”

16. Age 60: Guy – Waiting for someone at a restaurant, at the bar with a drink. Wearing black pants and a black shirt. Totally bald. Laughs “I don’t mind some hair, we are all human after all.”

17. Age 60: Girl – At a restaurant, meeting a guy. Wearing a black dress with a pretty turquoise necklace. “Men need hair. It wouldn’t bother me at all.” “This is my first date since my divorce. I am wearing heels and hope I don’t drink too much wine.”

18. Age 51: Girl – Getting coffee at Starbucks. Wearing a black skirt with a white button-up shirt. “Wouldn’t bother me at all.” “I’m a lawyer.”

19. Age 25: Guy – At a bar waiting for a drink. Wearing a blue striped shirt with jeans. “The crush would totally be gone. I can handle the private kind of hair, but not when it’s hanging out of her clothes like that.” “Beer is awesome.”

20. Age 28: Girl – In line at a furniture store. Wearing a pretty pink sundress, hair in side pony take with a flower. “As long as it’s not hanging out of his clothes. I am fine. Actually a little chest hair hanging out is okay, but back hair, no way that is gross.” “I just moved here from a really small town.”

21. Age 43: Girl – Waiting at the airport to board a flight. Wearing black pants and a red shirt. “I would be totally fine with hair, I mean I am dating a man right?” “I live in Chicago and I am originally from New York.”

22. Age 19: Guy – Sitting next to me on the plane to New York. Wearing jeans and a blue polo shirt. Laughs. “Yeah I am pretty sure the crush would be gone. Unless she was willing to remove it. But how do you even ask that?”

23. Age 41: Guy – Waiting in a restaurant for takeout. Wearing a white shirt with print and jeans. Flip flops. “Crush is definitely gone. I can’t date a hairy woman.” “I am not a hairy guy.”

24. Age 42: Girl – Waiting at a nail salon. Wearing a black sundress and sandals. Pretty red hair. “I don’t think hair alone can end a crush. I mean you can talk him into removing it.” “I am single, never been married.”

25. Age 39: Guy – Waiting at a hair salon. Wearing black running shorts and a white shirt. “Definitely kills the crush. I am not saying that I would stop dating her just because of that but I would wonder if she’s planning on staying like that forever.” “I am getting married in a couple of weeks, my wife-to-be said I need a haircut.”

(Insert old crackling radio sound here.) This is Two Women, Two Cities and One Question signing off till the next time where we hit the reporters beat. And we also need to go sharpen our pencils. Over and out and thanks for reading.

*We would love your comments and thoughts on this topic. What do you think?

By Jack Elliot

You know the story. A girl walks into a bar. A guy walks in after her. Guy sits next to girl. Guy says to girl…(insert clever punch line here).

As a bartender, I have had countless chances to watch this classic and age old scenario play out a number of times with all sorts of results. And, with the things I’ve heard come out of guys mouths (who are in all honesty and sincerity trying to strike up conversation), you would think they were trying to take the comedic route and use clever punch lines.

Unfortunately, they are not- the words coming out of their mouths are not jokes. Maybe I’m wrong, but I myself have always been a believer in the tried and true “hey how’s it going, my name is _______,” routine.

Anyways, here are some of the things I’ve overheard being said over the last couple of weeks, so see for yourself.

Exhibit A. Says guy to girl: “I hear there’s this new art exhibit in town. I mean, I’m not into art, but it sounds cool.” I mean, Wow. That is just brilliant. You sound fascinating. I’ll be yours forever if you promise to woo me with such eloquence every morning. You had me at hello. Oh wait… you never said hello.

Exhibit B. Says overeager guy (with a friend) to girl: “My friend and I are having a debate… So you know how Gandhi walked around without shoes on all the time, and you know he was very religious, and since he was so otherworldly, he probably didn’t care about his dental hygiene… so wouldn’t that make him a super-calloused-fragile mystic-hexed-by-halitosis?” Funny? Perhaps. Avenue to open up a great, engaging conversation? Well, we’ll let Mary Poppins be the judge of that.

Exhibit C. Says guy to girl: “So what’s your favorite Star Wars movie?” I wish I was kidding with this one. Granted, Star Wars does have its place in cinematographic history and I like Han Solo just as much as the next guy. But it does not belong at a bar. Ever.

But then again, who knows? It’s a tricky business. Perhaps girl in exhibit A isn’t into art either, and girl B loves corny jokes, and girl C purposefully did her hair like Princess Leah. After my observations, what I would recommend is just candid and casual conversation. Really try to get to know the other person. Speak for yourself and let your own words do the talking. Let your natural humor come out. But remember that it takes two to hold a conversation, so don’t get carried away on preaching about yourself.

Some good starter topics could be: taste in music, recent travels, hobbies, favorite movies (if they like Star Wars, then you should ask them their favorite), and things like that. The key is to keep the conversation engaging and flowing, so try to focus on topics that won’t bottom out after a minute or two.

Oh and bartender- I’ll take one spoonful of medicine, hold the sugar.

Why I Got the ‘Manzilian’ Wax
Brazilians for guys? Increasingly popular, but not for the faint of heart
Newser

(Newser) – Jed Lipinksi didn’t realize it at first, but it would prove to be impossible for him to write a story about male waxing without getting waxed himself. After steadfastly declining several offers, Lipinski found himself getting a “Manzilian” from none other than Janea Padilha herself, the inventor of the Brazilian. And “the pain was almost unbearable,” he writes on Salon. “Afterwards, I felt shaky and emotional, but invigorated, as if I’d just walked away from a car accident unscathed.”

Along the way, Lipinski gleaned various fun facts about manscaping, which is growing in popularity. Among the more amusing tidbits: Women are “not comfortable with their husbands and boyfriends getting waxed by other men,” Padilha says, but men are concerned about becoming aroused by a female waxer—so, one aesthetician explains, “we hire only older women for the waxing, like your grandmother.” One 35-year-old female waxer explains why: Some men assume “that since they’re naked, you’re gonna give them head,” she says, recalling a time a client got so aggressive she had to taze him.

Read more: Newser

By Jennifer Kelton and By Jessica Downey

(Insert the sound of crackling old radio here.) You never know what will be spawned from just one simple question. And that’s exactly what evolved from Two Women, Two Cities, One Question. We have decided to do a follow-up, a highlight reel of sorts, from our freshly sharpened pencil and Lois Lane style reporting on dating and mating straight from the street. It is here where we will highlight some of the conversations spawned.

Los Angeles

1. Guy #2 – He went on to talk for quite awhile about his obsessive and neurotic qualities. (Apparently he just does not JUST “brush his teeth a lot.”)
2. Girl #5 – I asked her if by “creating her own story that meant that she did not have to worry about germs.” She laughed really hard and said yes!
3. Guy #14 & Girl #15 – They talked about “how that had just happened last night.”
4. Guy #17 – Not only did he tell me about “how he does not use a toothbrush.” He then proceeded to hit on me in front of his wife. Not cool!
5. Guy #22 & Girl #36 – They ended up having a whole conversation about lesbians behind the bar, then went on the ask the toothbrush question to the other female bartender

Chicago

1. Girl #2 – After talking to others she chimed in about how she didn’t think it was a big deal to not brush at all since there were many times she’s fallen asleep alone after a night of drinking without brushing her teeth
2. Guy #3 – He talked about how his friend has a whole drawer of toothbrushes but how he wasn’t sure if that was why. I mentioned how I usually had a couple extra toothbrushes in the drawer in college, but only if they came in packages of two or more of course.
3. Girl #7 – She talked about how she watches a lot of news shows and mentioned one that gave an inside look into a fast food restaurant. She saw some “not so appetizing things” which was part of the reasoning for her answer.
4. Girl # 8 – After she said no she then said even if she was dating the guy it would really depend on what it looked like. If it looked new she would use it but if not she probably never would. She then told a story about how once in college she used her roommates toothbrush but then found out someone had dropped it in the toilet – she said “I think I am scarred for life.”
5. Girl #20 – She mentioned how actually it’s more about the toothpaste and it took her longer to adjust to that than actually using her boyfriend’s toothbrush.
6. Guy #22 – When he said he would wait until he went home the next morning I asked what he would do if he had something important to do. He replied that he would just stop some place and buy some gum or mints. Girl #23 then said if she had something important to do she wouldn’t be staying there in the first place.

*Be on the lookout September 7th for the next Two Woman, Two Cites, One Question blog post.

By Jennifer Kelton

That’s why he didn’t call.

One week after avoiding two of my favorite local happy hour spots, I’m sitting at one of them, drinking a $4 happy hour draught, surrounded by dark mahogany. It’s the local Irish Pub. I’m on a first-name basis with the bartenders, here. I’m sitting on my bar stool, praying to God that he (Mr. Guy- Who-Didn’t Call) doesn’t walk in.

Have you ever felt the need to go on a “Dating Fast?” That’s exactly what I did. Not by choice, but for mental survival from December 2009 until now—August 2010.

It was seven months of not wondering why he’s not calling, texting and/or e-mailing. Instead, I focused on my company, which gives me plenty to think about on a day-to-day basis; spammers, scammers, bots, bugs, bills, content, rep management, PR, programmers, SEO, marketing, monetization, analytics… well, you get the corporate picture of being a one-woman business.

Falling off the dating wagon and my Man Fast seemed like a good idea at the time. But now? Not so much. You know that old saying “what you think, you will attract?” That’s exactly what I did—and it happened. Aka the Laws of Attraction.

I met a smart, funny, cute guy, made out with him and developed a major crush! I suppose after being on a Man Fast for seven months it was easy to develop feelings quickly, and he had a lot of those great qualities I was looking for—or so it seemed: until he didn’t call, text or e-mail.

Mr. Guy Who Didn’t Call turned into a major distraction. A few tears and tequila shots later, I decided to ask the bartender to tell me the “12 reasons that guys don’t call back.”

And this is what he said: (After remarking, “12 is pushing it.”)
1. He was really drunk and compromising.
2. He didn’t have an interesting night.
3. Bad kisser. (But I try to not kiss people that I’m not attracted to so…)
4. Bad sex.
5. Bottom line is: if he’s not calling, it’s because he thinks it’s not worth it, and he doesn’t care about you.

He’s right. If he’s not calling, it’s because he doesn’t care about you, and that’s a good reason to stop worrying and thinking about why he’s not calling.

But, you know, I was pondering what the bartender said when I was out running, and I realized that it hurts to feel like “someone doesn’t care,” because it makes me feel alone. I can honestly say during my seven-month Dating Fast, I have felt alone only once and that was just a few weeks ago when I had my root canal.

What do you think, girls? Do you feel alone when he doesn’t call? And guys, I’d love to know why you don’t call back!