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Anguish Of Romantic Rejection May Be Linked To Stimulation Of Areas Of Brain Related To Motivation, Reward And Addiction
Study by team at Stony Brook University found biological evidence as to why emotions related to breaking up are so difficult to control

Jul 21, 2010 – 3:21:25 PM
STONY BROOK, N.Y., July 21, 2010 – Breaking up really is hard to do, and a recent study conducted at Stony Brook University found evidence that it may be partly due to the areas of the brain that are active during this difficult time.

The team of researchers, which included Arthur Aron, Ph.D., professor of social and health psychology in the Department of Psychology at Stony Brook University, and former graduate students Greg Strong and Debra Mashek looked at subjects who had a recent break-up and found that the pain and anguish they were experiencing may be linked to activation of parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward and addiction cravings. The study was published in the July issue of the Journal of Neurophysiology (http://jn.physiology.org/).

“This brain imaging study of individuals who were still ‘in love’ with their rejecter supplies further evidence that the passion of ‘romantic love’ is a goal-oriented motivation state rather than a specific emotion” the researchers concluded, noting that brain imaging showed some similarities between romantic rejection and cocaine craving. “The findings are consistent with the hypothesis that romantic love is a specific form of addiction.”

The study also helps to explain “why feelings and behaviors related to romantic rejection are difficult to control” and why extreme behaviors associated with romantic rejection such as stalking, homicide, suicide, and clinical depression occur in cultures all over the world, the researchers wrote.

“Romantic rejection is a major cause of suicides and depression. We have known very little about it. Understanding the neural systems involved is extremely important both for advancing our basic knowledge of intense romantic love in general and of response to rejection in particular,” said Dr. Aron. “The specific findings are significant because they tell us that the basic patterns seen in previous studies of happy love share key elements with love under these circumstances; they also tell us that what is unique to romantic rejection includes elements that are very much like craving for cocaine.”

The study was headed by Helen Fisher, a research professor and member of the Center for Human Evolutionary Studies at Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey, in New Brunswick, N.J., and co-author Lucy L. Brown of the Einstein College of Medicine of Yeshiva University, the Bronx, N.Y. The researchers used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to record brain activity in 15 college-age, heterosexual men and women who had recently been rejected by their partners. All reported that they were still intensely “in love” with that former partner, spent the majority of their waking hours thinking of the person who rejected them, and yearned for the person to return. Participants were shown a photograph of their former partner, then completed a simple math exercise to distract them from their romantic thoughts. They then viewed a photograph of a familiar “neutral” person.

The researchers found that viewing photographs of their former partners stimulated several key areas of the participants’ brains to a greater degree than when they looked at photos of neutral persons. The areas are:

* the ventral tegmental area in the mid-brain, which controls motivation and reward and is known to be involved in feelings of romantic love,
* the nucleus accumbens and orbitofrontal/prefrontal cortex, which are associated with craving and addiction, specifically the dopaminergic reward system evident in cocaine addiction, and
* the insular cortex and the anterior cingulate, which are associated with physical pain and distress.

“It shows that intense romantic love seems to function much like an addiction,” Dr. Aron said. “But that does not tell us one way or the other whether the desire to be in love in general is an addiction.” Dr. Aron noted that some of what has been learned over the years in this area may be useful in helping people attempting to recover from drug addiction.

The study also provided some evidence that “time heals all wounds”. Researchers found that as time passed, an area of the brain associated with attachment – the right ventral putamen/pallidum area – showed less activity when the participants viewed photographs of their former partners.

Part of the State University of New York system, Stony Brook University encompasses 200 buildings on 1,450 acres. In the 50+ years since its founding, the University has grown tremendously, now with nearly 24,700 students and 2,200 faculty and is recognized as one of the nation’s important centers of learning and scholarship. It is a member of the prestigious Association of American Universities, and ranks among the top 100 national universities in America and among the top 50 public national universities in the country according to the 2010 U.S. News & World Report survey. Considered one of the “flagship” campuses in the SUNY system, Stony Brook University co-manages Brookhaven National Laboratory , joining an elite group of universities, including Berkeley, University of Chicago, Cornell, MIT, and Princeton, that run federal research and development laboratories. SBU is a driving force of the Long Island economy, with an annual economic impact of $4.65 billion, generating nearly 60,000 jobs, and accounts for nearly 4% of all economic activity in Nassau and Suffolk counties, and roughly 7.5 percent of total jobs in Suffolk County.

General University News

The BadOnlineDates iPhone App has got your back because we understand there are some moments that are so special – you need to share them in real time with someone who’s in the online dating trenches with you.

Dear Disaster,
What advice do you have for a non serial killer, relatively clean, disease free, attractive and bored guy to meet women worthy of me?
Yours,
FreeWheelin’

Dear Napoleon,
I think you pose a very challenging question. How do you meet someone that is actually worthy of you? This would be so much easier if we were on Dancing with the Stars. We could just let Bruno get rid of the ones who are not telegenic or who dance like robots. But alas, in reality we’re left alone with the hunt. If you really want to land a special non-serial killer lady, here are a couple of ideas:

1. Stand out from the pack. Avoid the black fleece mafia. Once you join, you surrender your personal identity completely. When you approach a woman in a bar, she won’t know if she was just flirting with you, or your friend. All black fleece people look the same.

2. Hang out in places that normies like to frequent. I’d say banks, but I’ve tried this, and eventually security starts asking questions. That said, grocery stores on Sunday nights are fantastic. First of all, since you’re meeting a woman at the the grocery store she probably eats food — congratulations! You already share so much in common. And second, this probably means she cooks. Which means she’s well-off enough to have a kitchen! Score.

3. Chivalry is not dead. I know this because he lives in my building . He holds the elevator door for me and sometimes, he helps me bring out the trash. Do this. And when you go out next time, don’t order a woman a drink. Bor-ing. Send her over dessert. Unlike booze, chocolate is an aphrodisiac that she’ll actually remember. And more importantly, you’ve just told her that you think she’s skinny enough to enjoy dessert. You’re in.

Good luck with the hunt.

Yours,
 Disaster

By, Kira Sabin – The Dating Makeover Coach

As a dating coach, it is inevitable that every few months I get a question asking what I think of the current Bachelor/Bachelorette. Honest moment. I haven’t watched it for years since “Bob the Bachelor” was on there. Why? Because honestly, it is hard to digest. Don’t get me wrong, is it good, addictive entertainment? Hell yeah! Does it have ANYTHING to do with love and creating a great relationship? Nope. Not one bit.

I love guilty pleasures and have a few of my own that include, as my friend C found out last week, The Thong Song by Sisqo. Yet, I don’t actually believe that Sisqo knows some universal truth about underwear, it is just a silly, catchy song by a short guy with bad silver hair.

So if you are a die hard Bachelor(ette) fan, here are 3 things to keep in mind.

3. They are all drunk. Seriously, has no one else noticed how much champagne they drink? I wonder if there would really be so many fights, make-outs, hot tub scenes or tears if they weren’t boozing it up all the time. Why wouldn’t they think they were falling in love when they are constantly liquored up? It’s like 24-7 beer goggles.

2. Where do they get these people? I mean seriously? I love the fact that they are supposedly “real” guys and gals just like us, but if any of these guys that they are showing previews of on Hulu were my clients, I would maybe have to rethink my business. Want proof? One of the guys is nicknamed “Shooter.” He received the nickname in college because he prematurely ejaculated and decided to tell the Bachelorette the first night. Really?

What about “Bear” who claims there are no women in the secluded area he is from called….Colorado?!? Really? People, I can’t make this stuff up!

1. Don’t be confused, it is just entertainment. Though it is not as fun to believe, reality shows are known to be manipulated, as well as, even scripted sometimes. They add the hot messes knowing that they will be dramatic and make better television. They set up ridiculously romantic situations that don’t really create the chance to find out if someone is a great communicator, a partner that will help with the cooking and cleaning, can help pay the bills and has a similar relationship style. All stuff that starts mattering when the booze wears off and you are faced with real life. Although, not as romantic as jetting off to Hawaii like they do on The Bachelor(ette), that is when life gets good.