By Jessica Downey

As someone who has been dating on the internet since before dating on the internet was the thing to do I can honestly say that things have come a long way. There are dating sites to meet millionaires, people of the same religious background and even the most “beautiful” people in the world. Actually you can even meet people to have an affair with. In addition to dating sites people can even use social networking sites like Twitter or Facebook to meet and date people (I admit it, I have done it). So yeah, it’s safe to say it’s fairly easy to meet someone.

It is funny though that the exact things that have been invented to help bring the world together are also the things that are causing us to separate from each other (that is from actual human interaction).

There seems to be this idea that if you haven’t actually met each other then maybe you don’t really matter all that much. I’ve often found myself thinking “who am I, just some girl from the internet” as I am chatting with a man I have yet to meet (actually to be technical I’ve found myself saying it to them as well). It seems logical, I mean, who am I really? I am a screename on Twitter or a profile on a dating site or five random pictures that I have posted on my profile.

A few days ago a guy sent me a message on Twitter asking what I was up to later that day. We exchanged a few messages and agreed we should meet up for a drink sometime. Next thing I knew he was asking for my Blackberry pin (not my phone number) so he could BBM (Blackberry Messenger) me. Then a few days later I noticed he was sending the same type of messages to other women. How did this guy think that I wouldn’t notice? Honestly, I wonder if he even thought about it.

I have also had several instances where I have been chatting with a guy from the internet and had him ask for my phone number only to turn around and text me. He didn’t text just to set up a date, but to have an actual conversation. Why not just pick up the phone and call me?

Then we have Four Square. About a month ago I was waiting for a guy at my place only to find out he was checking in to sushi with his friends on Four Square (oops). Apparently Four Square (and all of Twitter) needed to know where he was before the woman that was waiting for him to show up.

Now, I know that I probably shouldn’t let these things bother me, but fact of the matter is I am a human being and with that comes a certain amount of feelings (even if I like it or not). Even if we meet a way that doesn’t utilize human interaction that doesn’t change the fact that I am still a human being.

There are certain things that I don’t want to see on the internet anymore than I want to see in person (like you sending out mass messages to every hot girl amongst your followers). There are also things that I don’t want to find out via the internet but that I would rather find out with a phone call (like you have to cancel a date because you were tied up with friends).

Bottom line is just because I am “some girl from the internet” doesn’t erase the fact that I am a human being with actual feelings.

Jessica Downey is a freelance writer who lives in Chicago who writes about dating and life as a single woman. She currently writes for ChicagoNow.com and has written for Examiner.com

The BadOnlineDates iPhone App has got your back because we understand there are some moments that are so special – you need to share them in real time with someone who’s in the online dating trenches with you.

Dear Disaster,
What advice do you have for a non serial killer, relatively clean, disease free, attractive and bored guy to meet women worthy of me?
Yours,
FreeWheelin’

Dear Napoleon,
I think you pose a very challenging question. How do you meet someone that is actually worthy of you? This would be so much easier if we were on Dancing with the Stars. We could just let Bruno get rid of the ones who are not telegenic or who dance like robots. But alas, in reality we’re left alone with the hunt. If you really want to land a special non-serial killer lady, here are a couple of ideas:

1. Stand out from the pack. Avoid the black fleece mafia. Once you join, you surrender your personal identity completely. When you approach a woman in a bar, she won’t know if she was just flirting with you, or your friend. All black fleece people look the same.

2. Hang out in places that normies like to frequent. I’d say banks, but I’ve tried this, and eventually security starts asking questions. That said, grocery stores on Sunday nights are fantastic. First of all, since you’re meeting a woman at the the grocery store she probably eats food — congratulations! You already share so much in common. And second, this probably means she cooks. Which means she’s well-off enough to have a kitchen! Score.

3. Chivalry is not dead. I know this because he lives in my building . He holds the elevator door for me and sometimes, he helps me bring out the trash. Do this. And when you go out next time, don’t order a woman a drink. Bor-ing. Send her over dessert. Unlike booze, chocolate is an aphrodisiac that she’ll actually remember. And more importantly, you’ve just told her that you think she’s skinny enough to enjoy dessert. You’re in.

Good luck with the hunt.

Yours,
 Disaster

By, Kira Sabin – The Dating Makeover Coach

As a dating coach, it is inevitable that every few months I get a question asking what I think of the current Bachelor/Bachelorette. Honest moment. I haven’t watched it for years since “Bob the Bachelor” was on there. Why? Because honestly, it is hard to digest. Don’t get me wrong, is it good, addictive entertainment? Hell yeah! Does it have ANYTHING to do with love and creating a great relationship? Nope. Not one bit.

I love guilty pleasures and have a few of my own that include, as my friend C found out last week, The Thong Song by Sisqo. Yet, I don’t actually believe that Sisqo knows some universal truth about underwear, it is just a silly, catchy song by a short guy with bad silver hair.

So if you are a die hard Bachelor(ette) fan, here are 3 things to keep in mind.

3. They are all drunk. Seriously, has no one else noticed how much champagne they drink? I wonder if there would really be so many fights, make-outs, hot tub scenes or tears if they weren’t boozing it up all the time. Why wouldn’t they think they were falling in love when they are constantly liquored up? It’s like 24-7 beer goggles.

2. Where do they get these people? I mean seriously? I love the fact that they are supposedly “real” guys and gals just like us, but if any of these guys that they are showing previews of on Hulu were my clients, I would maybe have to rethink my business. Want proof? One of the guys is nicknamed “Shooter.” He received the nickname in college because he prematurely ejaculated and decided to tell the Bachelorette the first night. Really?

What about “Bear” who claims there are no women in the secluded area he is from called….Colorado?!? Really? People, I can’t make this stuff up!

1. Don’t be confused, it is just entertainment. Though it is not as fun to believe, reality shows are known to be manipulated, as well as, even scripted sometimes. They add the hot messes knowing that they will be dramatic and make better television. They set up ridiculously romantic situations that don’t really create the chance to find out if someone is a great communicator, a partner that will help with the cooking and cleaning, can help pay the bills and has a similar relationship style. All stuff that starts mattering when the booze wears off and you are faced with real life. Although, not as romantic as jetting off to Hawaii like they do on The Bachelor(ette), that is when life gets good.

Badonlinedates.com changed the game and introduced a new way of approaching online dating. Sure, it’s okay to look, but more importantly it’s okay to laugh!

Did you ever thought that one of your date story was worthy enough to be told to the whole world? Well, now is your chance: Introducing the Worst Date Contest!

How does it work?
You have 2 weeks, starting now until 06/1/10, to submit your worst date story using the contact form accessible with the link below. In 2 weeks, our expert dating team will review all the stories and select the best one!

Click here to participate Badonlinedates.com registration

Do I win anything if my story was the one selected? Hell yeah. A $50 Gift Card, a Tee-shirt “Worst Date Ever” and a worldwide coverage of your story on our blog: Blog.badonlinedates.com

So boys and girls, open your journals, browse your memory cells and send us the best worst date story!
And if you don’t have any good story, you have 2 weeks to get one, so get out and go dating!

BadOnlineDates.com Launches an iPhone App, Giving Online Daters the Virtual Wingman They Need.

(I-Newswire) May 12, 2010 – Los Angeles, CA – May 12th 2010.

BadOnlineDates.com introduces the BadOnlinedates iPhone App; your virtual wingman. And yes. There is an App for that!

Even been on date that was so tragic, so awkward, and so criminally awful that you wish you had a wingman to help get you through it, to laugh about it with in real time? Well now, at BadOnlineDates – there’s an app for that!

The BadOnlineDates iPhone app has got your back because they understand there are some moments that are so special – you need to share them in real time with someone who’s in the online dating trenches with you.

BadOnlineDates.com is a fresh and innovative social networking site that combines the best of social networking with online dating. The site gives an ever-growing, ever-frustrated community an opportunity to connect, vent, tell the truth and ultimately laugh about their online dating misadventures and mishaps.

CEO and Founder of BadOnlineDates.com, Jennifer Kelton, understands that anybody who has ever delved into the world of online dating (and at this point, who hasn’t?) knows that the dating pool can get a bit murky. “While other online dating sites tell you it’s okay to look – at BadOnlineDates.com we’re changing the game and letting you know “IT’S OKAY TO LAUGH!”

With the introduction of BadOnlinedates.com’s latest tool, the iPhone App, online daters have a chance to tell their story in real time and interact with other members as well as get immediate advice and comic relief. iPhone users can post their bad date experience as it’s happening from their phone so they’re never alone. Now, when daters find themselves at coffee with the ‘freaky fetish guy’ or having cocktails with a girl they’ve just met who has their wedding tux on hold, they can just push a button and connect with others who understand what they’re going through. This as Kelton states: “is a new kind of virtual dating wingman.” And who doesn’t want an app for that?

Technology

The BadOnlineDate.com’s iPhone application is the site’s companion for taking BadOnlineDate.com on the go is available for free in the Apple Store. This Twitter-like communication tool allows users to engage with their community while mobile, and send out real-time updates from a date – helping users tap their communities when they need it most.

About BadOnlineDates.com

On BadOnlineDates.com, users can post stories, pictures and videos about their real life dating experiences and also comment on others’ experiences. Video, blogs, Chat Rooms, Twitter integration and and the iPhone application will allow users to message others “live in the trenches”, offering the opportunity to laugh with others whether it’s before, after, or during a bizarre date live. The administrative and editorial staff ensures the site is a supportive and interactive place by moderating communications within the community while providing expert commentary and advice for specific stories.

About Jennifer Kelton, The Face Behind BadOnlineDates.com

BadOnlineDates.com was created by Jennifer Kelton, an indelicate and uncensored voice in the dating world. Jennifer built a league of dedicated followers with her biting truths and down-to-earth takes on the modern singles scene. She rose to popularity with her humorously candid book, Don’t Use my Sweater Like a Towel, which chronicled a year of bad dates, missed connections and frankly-described sexcapades. An avid believer in the convergence of technology and online/offline communications, Jennifer created BadOnlineDates.com in the fall of 2007 with her sights on creating a revolutionary new space that would rise above the cliché’s of online dating. By combining a social networking and online dating, BadOnlineDates.com connects people through the good, bad and hilarious of their shared dating experiences. Jennifer created BadOnlineDates to be a cyberspace that is more human, honest and organic; a site to help heal the wounds of anyone who has been rejected by a computer, gone to dinner with their worst nightmare or been bamboozled by the profile-liar. There’s not better to bond or make lasting relationships than laughter. Jennifer believes that when it comes to online dating, not only is it okay to laugh – it’s necessary!

iNewswire

By Jessica Downey

Technology has become a convenient way to do many things. You can quickly text a friend to let them know you are running late if you are on a crowded noisy bus. If you forgot to send an email before you left the house to go out of town you can do it while you are waiting at the airport. Social networking sites like Twitter and Facebook are equally awesome. Where else can you get news, talk to people from across the globe, and get in touch with people you haven’t seen in years?

However, some people seem to take this whole technology thing too far and don’t realize how completely impersonal it can be. Technology is kind of like having eight shots of tequila right in a row at the bar – it enables you to do things that you normally might not do if you were sitting with the person face to face. The reason? You don’t really have to face the consequences.

Let’s take chatting with a woman from an internet dating site for example. All too often I have had conversations where a guy is trying to flash me his penis and then describing (in very graphic detail) what he would do to me with that penis if he had five minutes of my time. It’s pretty rare that anyone would meet a woman randomly at a coffee shop or the grocery store and flash her (people tend to frown on that sort of thing).

Fighting with your significant other has now been taken over by technology as well. Not too long ago the whole Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy fight over Twitter was all the rage. Then a blogger friend of mine recently wrote about an article in the New York Times about couples fighting on Facebook. Apparently for a couple (in their early twenties) this was a great way to air out their frustrations and even their friends could join in. Of course this is the same age group that thinks interrupting sex with a text is just fine, but that’s a whole other story.

Then let’s definitely not forget about break-ups. I have read countless articles on the tactful way to break it off with someone on Facebook or through email. I wasn’t even aware there was a tactful way. How about you just use another method to end a relationship? You know like in person or at least over the phone. And do I really even need to go into that whole status change thing? I mean, really, I can’t think of a more disrespectful way to end things.

Of course I am writing all of this while I am frustrated with a guy who doesn’t seem to know how to text a girl back (which is the polite thing to do for those of you that are keeping track). Sure, I understand that people sometimes lose interest. However, a text that simply says just that is equally polite in my book.

The bottom line is it seems all too often we are starting to forget that there is a person attached to these texts (or Facebook or Twitter accounts). And that the person has a little something called feelings. While technology is great (hello, I can admit I am an avid fan of my Blackberry) the simple fact is there are certain things that technology was never really meant to replace.

Jessica Downey is a freelance writer who lives in Chicago who writes about dating and life as a single woman. She currently writes for ChicagoNow.com and has written for Examiner.com

By Jennifer Kelton

It’s estimated about 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in their marriage. Womensavers.com (Hello, Ashleymadison.com)

While it’s extremely difficult to get the precise numbers, I can say that unfortunately, unknowingly, and very much to my Brazilian waxed vaginal dismay I became part of 2009’s infidelity statistic. This unequivocally and absolutely goes against every grain of my moral, cellular and ethical being. And now my poor unsuspecting adulterous vagina — I just found out about this sexual and dishonorable tidbit of information last night over a Guinness beer at one of my favorite local Irish pubs.

I don’t remember the exact day, but what I do remember is that it was one of those typical warm California Summer nights — I recall feeling salty, sandy, and tanned from spending the afternoon at the beach, despite having taken a shower before heading out for food and cocktails. I was wearing black short shorts, brown equestrian style boots, and a vintage western blouse as I breezily went for sushi happy hour at an extremely trendy Venice Beach hot spot.

Once there, I ended up bumping into a local guy/friend that I once casually dated and his other friends at the bar. The guy I used to date had one friend who just so happened to be tall, dark and devilishly handsome. I was attracted to him immediately and the more he flirted with me the more charming and engaging he became.

The possibility of romance going further than the bar was absolutely the gigantic cartoonish caption bubble hovering over my captivated swooning head – A devilishly handsome flirty guy along with his tempting wooing ways was just too impossible to be true. However, he was I’d like to blank your brains out too hot to ignore.

As we all finished up at the bar, devilishly handsome guy invited me back to his swanky shoreline Santa Monica hotel for cocktails and while at the hotel’s bar the flirting became more sexual, but I was not objecting — perhaps he is “the one”?

Our heated exchange went on for about an hour and then he authoritatively asked for and paid our tab while simultaneously asking me if I wanted to go to his room. I’m not naive and figured that once getting there, I would go only as far as I wanted (sex wise). Immediately, when we got into the room he ordered a really good bottle of wine and it did not take long before we were on the bed kissing, clothes off, and having sex.

One thing that really pops out in my mind (no pun intended) was his forcefulness as he pushed my head to his “head” which in retrospect now seems to be overtly selfish behavior on his behalf. And what I now know became to be a one night stand with a married man.

He got up quickly right after he came and went to take a shower, as I laid there for a fast minute I knew I had to leave — something was not right. As I put my clothes back on, I wondered if I should leave my business card or my number on the hotel notepad. I opted not to and left quickly while he was still in the shower. I could see the steam drifting out from the slight crack in the pristine five-star hotel door….

To be continued.