Dear Sasha,
I am deeply in lust, and have a rocking sex life (the best that I have ever had) with the new guy that I have been seeing, one MAJOR problem, he does some pretty random and careless stuff, and never learns from his mistakes. I really don’t want to play “mommy” and say anything. Am I just in love with lust — What would you do?

Sincerely,
In love with lust?

Dear Lusty Lady,

Come on! Who doesn’t love a bad boy?

Marlon Brando in the Wild One, James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause, jeez, even Keanu Reeves in Paula Abdul’s “Rush, Rush” video; there’s something about a surly stud with a hidden heart of gold that makes every woman melt. I blame John Travolta’s Danny Zuko and Patrick Swayze’s Johnny Castle for my particular fetish for leather jacket-rocking, misunderstood outsiders with a love of song and dance, but the thing I think does it for every woman is the double pronged thrill of taming the beast within and being able to turn to your friends and family as they look at you with concern, and say, “You just don’t know him the way I do.”

Fear and frenzy live right on the cusp of passion—why do you think so many people have safe words in bed?—and that’s what makes them so delectable.

Speaking of, of course your sex life is off the charts right now. Crazy people always make the best lovers. I have a dear guy friend who didn’t dump the girl he was dating even after she keyed his car, jumped on the hood and bashed her head against the windshield, shattering it as she started gushing blood, and then punched her fist through his bedroom window. Why? Because she was just as insane in the sack. Needless to say, their love is no longer thriving, but a restraining order is in the works, still, at the time, he made a pretty legitimate case for why he kept seeing her.

Wild thrill-seeking is undeniably sexy but when he starts taking stupid risks that put himself or other people in danger, it’s not nagging to tell him to stop; it’s you being a responsible adult, which is what he should be as well.

Enjoy the ride with your wild man, just make sure you buckle up.

Safety first,
Sasha

*Feel free to email us with any dating, relationship, love and sex questions you may have for Sasha.

By Alison Agosti

I’ve always wondered why women are labeled as the more vain of the sexes. Men have just as many vices: sports cars, leather jackets and hair plugs are somehow always overlooked. One of these male-centric vanity trends is the guy who wears sunglasses indoors. Ah, yes. The guy who is desperate to appear cool and unable to shake the obvious, frantic image he is actually presenting.

This isn’t so much a fashion statement as it is a personality type. The kind of guy that does the unnecessary sunglasses thing, either indoors or at night, isn’t so much telling the world about his love of shades; he’s explicitly saying that he wants to be seen and acknowledged without returning the favor. That exaggerated cockiness is so unattractive to me, and I think most women would agree.

It almost doesn’t matter the style of shades. Once they are on indoors, it’s immediately tacky. That club look is so not for me. But a personal pet peeve has always been the see-through sunglasses, where you can still make out most of the person’s eyes. It feels so J-Lo circa 1998 or worse; a middle-aged, mustachioed motorcycle cop.

Guys, unless you are Jack Nicholson, this is not a look you’re going to pull off. And there are really only a few exceptions to this rule: if you have a black eye or pink eye (gross), or you are hungover or if you have a migraine. Even then, you should be apologetic about it. Something like this: “Oh these? I’m so sorry! If I take them off my eyes will literally fall out of my head. It has nothing to do with my fear of human interaction, I swear! Please, tell me about your day while I listen to you intently.”

Because that’s what it is right? Covering your eyes when you’re not protecting yourself from the glare of the sun, is either to hide the fact that you are disinterested in your surroundings or to project the image of someone that is. I have no time for either. Luckily, I have never had to deal with this personally. I have a pretty good gauge for jerks, and wearing unnecessary sunglasses is jerk behavior.

My initial response is to say that indoor shades is an immediate dating deal breaker. But, in the spirit of Moldable May, let’s give the Risky Business character a chance to redeem himself. If this happens in the context of an early date, maybe the guy is just nervous and wants to project an image of confidence. Communication is always key. Try saying something like, “I’m trying to connect with you and it’s kind of tough through the glasses.” Honestly, if that doesn’t get them off, they may be permanently attached. Consequently, if you’re dealing with this behavior in a longer-term relationship, I give you full permission to just smack them off of his head.

Dear Sasha,
I have been with my new girlfriend for 3 months now, I really, really like her a lot however since we started dating she has put on about 15 pounds. I don’t want to tell her what to eat or try to change her — but I’m starting to lose my sexual interest in her — I have never been attracted to chunky women.

Sincerely,
Weight Watching Boyfriend

Dear Weight Watcher,
Wow. Did you just say “chunky”? And you’re almost single? Get ready to beat the ladies off with a stick because nothin’ says sexy like a dude who likes to disparage a few extra pounds. Should you choose to break up with your girlfriend, can you give me her number? That way I can call her, give her a high five and schedule an outing so we can find her a new man who isn’t afraid of a little cushion for the pushin’.

It’s been scientifically proven that people (yeah, buddy, that means dudes too) tend to gain weight when in a couple. Maybe it’s because you get lazy now that you’ve landed your love, maybe it’s because you’re up late drinking wine and staring into each other’s eyes, maybe it’s because food tastes better when you have someone to enjoy it with, but a major part of the mating ritual is putting on those nesting pounds.

You know what that means, don’t you? Chance are, there’s a little more of you to love these days too.
If you’re really into her and haven’t made the dire mistake of commented on her newfound thickness to her face yet, why not suggest you workout together since couples tend to lose weight together as well. Take hikes, go for bike rides, take her out to shoot hoops or play tennis, figure out a way to make it fun and bonding as a couple and you’ll both end up tighter in your relationship and abs.

Sasha

*Feel free to email us with any dating, relationship, love and sex questions you may have for Sasha.

By Alison Agosti

There are literally an infinite number of possibilities for self-expression through your hair. Dye it, shave it, spike it, let it grow wild and untamed. Men can grow beards, or a tragically trendy moustache. Basically, if you can imagine it, there is probably a product that can make it happen for you. However, in the world of body hair, eyebrows should be not open to creative interpretation.

Twice a month, I make the sad trek to my local beauty salon to pay a muscular Slavic woman to pour hot wax on my face and rip the excess hair out of my brows. It hurts worse than anything, and every time she does it, I wonder why I do this to myself. “You came in here with two caterpillars above your eyes and now you have eyebrows again!” She has said this to me several times, because she thinks it’s hilarious to make fun of me. And, she’s right. I really feel like it makes me look better.

I know that women are targeted and encouraged to beautify damn-near every part of their body (the fact that anal bleaching exists is the ultimate example); that the perfect woman must posses certain features, but there really are benefits to shaping your eyebrows! It draws attention to your eyes, lifting and enhancing features. Ultimately, it just looks better, cleaner and sexier.

Men, however, do not seem to have gotten the memo. I’m not asking for guys to do anything drastic, quite frankly, I would be happy if they would just keep the two from meeting in the middle. That’s right, the dreaded and unsightly unibrow is much more common than you’d think. Certainly not the thick, full unibrow; but I’ve had more than a few run-ins with the more subtle and island of light hairs in between the the two.

I’ve never thought this was a deal-breaker. Unattractive? Yes, absolutely. But in the spirit of Moldable May, I would encourage you to give the poor uni-guy a chance. Most likely, he has no idea, and I’ll take the guy who is a little clueless over a shameless preener any day.

So maybe you fall for one of these clueless types. Now comes the delicate art of introducing a man to tweezers. While I don’t think a unibrow makes someone undateable, it certainly cannot be allowed to stay. I suggest being straightforward, but polite. Don’t say, “You would be so much less disgusting if you let me tweeze your disgusting t-zone.” Mostly, because they won’t know what the t-zone is, and because it’s mean. Try something a little more tactful, like “Hey, I’m crazy about you already, but here’s something that would make you even better.” I don’t know a single guy who wouldn’t want to make himself more attractive to the girl he’s dating.

This might be a sign that I’m a bit of a sadist, but I kind of enjoy tweezing out those few in between hairs for them. There is no bigger cry baby in the world than a man getting hair removed. It’s a funny, sweet little thing the two of you can share and even if he won’t admit it, he’ll thank you for it.

* Has someone tried to change you, or have you tried to change someone? For the next few weeks we here at Badonlinedates.com will be talking, writing and posting about the ideas, motives, and thoughts that surround trying to “mold” aka change someone in a relationship. Is it possible, is it a good idea?

Join in and share your own “Moldable May” stories with us on Twitter with the hash tag #MoldableMay, and on the
Badonlinedates.com site where you may also to be featured in an original Sunday Bad Date Funnies cartoon by telling your own story, and by using the title Moldable May in your header.

Dear Sasha,
I have a huge issue I have a very flat chest can we say A cup my boyfriend keeps wanting me to get a breast enlargement and said he will pay. I have never had a body and or breast issue up until now. Should I do it and what are the risks?

Sincerely, 
Bigger boobs?

Dear Boobs’ Boob,
Supposedly there are boob men and ass men, but your boyfriend sounds like both a boob man and an asshole. What a jerk! The only person who should ever decide if they want to alter their body is YOU and it’s never anyone else’s place to say, “Hey baby, you know what would make me love you way more? If you had a hotter rack. On me, of course.”

I can tell you from experience that plastic surgery is filled with risks, pain and, sometimes, death.

I have the opposite problem as you; I’ve always had very large breasts. From the time I was 15, I had back problems and neck problems, not to mention pounds of embarrassment from men ogling and catcalling me in the street. I desperately wanted to have a breast reduction but after a dear family friend died having the procedure done when her anesthesiologist forgot to monitor if she was breathing (she hadn’t been for ten minutes and spent three weeks in a coma before passing away), I was too fearful.

I waited over a decade following her death, miserable with the two elephants strapped to my chest, but finally had the surgery a few years ago. Even though it was painful, terrifying and extremely expensive, I can honestly say it was the best decision I ever made. But I made it for myself.
You don’t need a breast enlargement, you need a boyfriend reduction. Ditch that loser and find a man who will love you the way you are.

Sasha

*Feel free to email us with any dating, relationship, love and sex questions you may have for Sasha.

By Daniel Ponsky

What is it inside of us human beings that stir our attraction for others? No easy question if you think about all of the different people you know and then think about the reasons why you like them. Is it on personal, social or business terms? Do they help make you money in your profession or simply have love for you because you have known them for forever and that’s just who they are. The point I am trying to get at is most of the times the reason I think we are attracted to a person in any walk of life is because that person in some way, shape or form accepts us for who we are and doesn’t tell is what to do. Unless it’s a parent, wife, or boss and that is what that is.

I have had my fair share of dates throughout the years. Some of them good, some of them bad, but the memorable one’s that always seem to stick around are of the girls that wanted to “run the show”. Bossy little drama queens was what they really were. Actress, princesses mostly who manage to slip underneath my radar until the second drink of the night awakened her inner Kraken. Oh my! Nothing stands out more then Donna. Now this girl could tell you who she was, where she was going, and why you weren’t good enough to be there with her when she finally gets there. And she would lay that smack down on a dude before the appetizer arrived just to let you know she got you. I respect that though cause she’s forward. No BS, no games, I found her to be refreshing compared to some of the hoochie mamacitas rolling around Los Angeles thinking they are somebody special. What is it with some of the women in this town who think their gift is to tell a man how to live his life? I mean who the hell are they to tell me where the best restaurant is to have sushi? It’s an opinion I get that but some of you ladies take it to another level and you look at food places like your comparing Versace purses. Just cause Leo eats there doesn’t make that place good. I mean how do you know that Leo don’t have an underdeveloped pallet from birth and can’t tell when the smelt is off on the California Roll? Just sayin.

Oh it goes the other way too. I have seen, known, and witnessed many a dude try and “run the show” by bossing his lady around. This sickens me. Nothing is worse then an out of control egotist who can’t get enough. Let me say this just to say this. If you are a woman and your man, lover, or whatever tries to run your world and tell you what to do in private, public or wherever, and that guy can’t no for an answer…leave his butt.

Believe me, it isn’t going to get any better. Public displays of affection can be heartwarming, but public displays of brutality can be nauseating and uncomfortable to anyone who has to witness it. Know who you are inside and out. Respect that, give that back in life, but never sacrifice it to anyone for anything. Our voice and our perspective make us who we are in this life and no one person should ever have the power to take that away.

Dear Sasha,
My Mom is great but she is very overbearing when it comes to dating and me. To the point of googling the men I date and even if I have told her where I’m going to be she will just so happen to show up. Needless to say, it’s hurt a couple of the relationships I thought could have had a future.
I know in the end she means well… BUT!!!

Sincerely,
Mom crasher’s daughter

Dear Crasher’s Daughter,
Your mom and my mom should hang out. If my relationships went one hundredth as well as my mother believed they would after the mere sentence, “I have a date…” I’d have been married a thousand times and have dozens of babies. Over the years I’ve learned the kindest thing to do is simply not to tell her. It saves me the stress and her the deflation if things don’t work out.

If you know your mother kicks things into high gear and starts perusing wedding gowns and invitations every time a new man comes into your life, hold those cards a little closer to your chest until there’s something for her to be really excited about. Treat it like one of those spy movies where a high powered government official whips off their blackout sunglasses and gets to growl at someone, “You’re on a need to know basis—and you don’t need to know.”

But you should also follow her lead a little bit. Regardless of what Marilyn sings, Google is a girl’s best friend. We live in a big, crazy, sometimes very scary world and you should be aware of who you’re inviting into your life. Remember afterschool specials about Stranger Danger? Creeps don’t only drive white windowless vans and offer you candy. They can also drive Audis and Toyotas and hybrids and take you to sushi dinners. A savvy gal always does a little internet research. Just be judicious and remember there’s a thin line between “research” and “stalking.”

Good luck!
Sasha

*Feel free to email us with any dating, relationship, love and sex questions you may have for Sasha.