Dear Sasha,
This is a very personal matter–but no matter how excited I get with a girl (I’m 24), I can only stay hard for about 15 minutes. It has made me not even want to date, what should I do?

Sincerely,
My private parts

Dear Mr. Private,
I don’t know who implanted men with this fallacy that sex needs to go all night long—though I assume Lionel Richie is to blame—but 15 minutes sounds right about perfect for me…just as long as there’s a round two.

The truth is, excitement is exciting for everyone. Think about it; when you make a girl moan, it makes you way hotter, right? If a girl knows you can barely keep it together because she’s so irresistible to you, she’s going to be flattered and turned on.

Still, learning to maintain your composure is something you should do and it will get easier as you get older.
First off, are you using condoms? Usually that barrier of latex creates a dullness that allows men to perform longer.

Second, slow your breathing and pretend you’re Sting. Tantric sex is all about slow, steady and sensual, which women prefer anyway. When you think you’re getting close to climax, slow down—or even pull out—take a few breaths and then get back into it.

And finally, and this is the most important lesson of all, get really good at going down on a girl.

No, I’m not kidding.

Since it obviously doesn’t take much to bring you to the finish line, do the same for your lady and ensure everyone is having a grand ol’ time.
Forget all that spell-the-alphabet-with-your-tongue stuff. Every girl is different and you have to address her needs. The sexiest thing you can say in bed is, “Tell me what you like.” Make that your go-to phrase and you’ll be just fine.

-Sasha

*Feel free to email us with any dating, relationship, love and sex questions you may have for Sasha.