6 Apr 11

A Woman’s POV: How it Makes Me Feel When… I’m Having Sex for the Sake of Sex

Posted by

By Jennifer Kelton

Let’s get straight down to the hard and fast (yes, the sexual innuendo is intended) bottom line—none of us would be here if not for sex and it’s genetic, primal, and uncontrollable driving force.

Sex is the motivation and behind many great movies, raunchy porn, music, and art.

Sex has created multi-billion-dollar business empires like Video Exclusives and Girls Gone Wild, not to mention the glossy and not-so-pin-up-girl pages of Playboy and Hustler magazines.

Words such as sexting, smushing (via the term originally from MTV’s Jersey Shore, meaning to have sex; see smush), and hooking up are as commonplace in 2011 as the word for one of the oldest professions on the planet: prostitution.

But even with the newest verbiage, it all boils down to the one primitive word—SEX—and I’ve had plenty of it!

During my 20s and 30s, while I was working in fashion and music and living a very Rock n’ Roll lifestyle, my overactive and carefree sexual life led me to a great number of “sex-for-the-sake-of-sex” encounters. I’m not thinking of just one or two occasions but, in all honesty, many more than I could count on two hands or actively recount the dirty details of now.

Yes, it felt good in the moment, with all those female DNA-hardwired bonding chemicals rushing to my brain and body. And it felt good in those moments of afterglow, naked on a kitchen counter or in the bathroom stall of a smoky nightclub. But I can say that 60 percent of the time these experiences actually made me feel pretty gosh-darn sexually empty, lonely, and worried about STDs.

What’s most interesting to me now, looking back some 20 years later without seeing through beer goggles or the lens of carefree sexual experimentation, is that despite the heated passion of those moments, I can only remember a very small number of the men—both for good and bad reasons.

Now that I’m in my 40s, I still am presented with plenty of steamy, random sex-for-the-sake-of-sex situations that, in the end, may or may not get my and/or his rocks off, especially when I’m traveling.

This just happened last week. After a few beers, he was looking hotter and hotter. I even had visions of what he may look like naked, wondered whether he was a good kisser, and whether he “trimmed.” I was in a Colorado mountain town, after all. But when he texted me after our first encounter, I bypassed seeing him, along with any naked sex-for-the-sake-of-sex bodily action.

Sex feels good—so it’s not that I was not tempted by an inviting booty-call text! However, knowing my own personal sex-for-the-sake-of-sex odds, I realized something after looking at the text. With my busy, happy, and fulfilled life, I don’t have any need or desire to potentially feel lonely or empty just for the sake of sex.

What do you think, does sex-just-for-the-sake-of-sex ever make you feel lonely or empty?

  • What do you think?

About Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer KeltonI did not wake up one morning and say “hey I think I’d like a man use my sweater like a towel, write a candid dating book, become a dating expert, the CEO and founder of a social dating site and have three blogs.”

All of this has happened in a slow burn and here I am. The good, the bad, the mistakes, way too many tears shed to count, lots of wine and oh my goodness a huge learning curve that leaves me much of the time saying, “I’m sorry but this is all new to me.”

In need of a
cyber fortune?

Follow us on Twitter and Tweet #BODFortune to receive a personal DM message of hope, joy and wisdom.

  • BOD Dating App — Alpha Launch 10/15/15

    Mobile dating is about to be changed forever. Are you ready to be a part of the revolution? Coming soon: BadOnlineDates.com will transform the dating space as we know it with the brand new BOD app that redesigns the concept of dating. You know that tingling sensation you feel when you discover an amazing new […]

  • Dress for the Date Announces #DressMonday

    #DressMonday I don’t know about you but I wake up on Monday and know that I’ll be at my desk putting out fires and then at some point having to put my “man pants on and be the “CEO”. Many of us work in masculine industries or the gender-neutral tech space, where it’s easy to […]

  • Shit Cougars Say – Part 2 (Aka Single Older Women)

    Related posts: Bad Date TV: Bad Date Ben – Honestly Ben (What A Douchebag!) Bad Date TV Starring Bad Date Ben – Mom I’d Like to Blank! Bad Date TV: Bad Date Betty and the Blinged Out Bear Bad Date TV: Bad Date Ben – Dating While Pregnant Bad Date TV: Bad Date Betty – […]

  • BADONLINEDATES.COM CELEBRATES It’s Sixth Year Online and Dress for the Date

    Founder/CEO Jennifer Kelton Looks Back on 6 Years of Success With BadOnlineDates.com While Looking Ahead to Her Latest Venture, DressForTheDate.com LOS ANGELES, CA (October 2, 2013) – The website that pioneered the social sharing of bad dating experiences and advice, BadOnlineDates.com, celebrates it’s 6th year anniversary on October 18, 2013. Jennifer Kelton founded the site […]

  • Dress for the Date Interview With Ryan Seacrest (Kiss FM 102.7)

    Listen Here 102.7 KissFM On Air With Ryan Seacrest Related posts: [Press Release] Nationally Recognized Date Stylist Offers Free Service for One Lucky Candidate DressfortheDate.com Offers Fashion Advice for Dating Success Announcing Dress for the Date’s ‘Dress to Impress’ Giveaway