Thursday’s Thoughts From a Bartender: Dating a Picky Eater

By Daniel Ponsky

See, I’m wired a little different than most people on this planet. I live life simple and try to walk my path with a sense of reserved moderation. I balance myself with a strong belief that too much of anything always ends up being bad for you in the end, if your not made of Adonis D.N.A. That line of thinking has seemed to always serve me pretty correct. When I crossed it, the proof of those words has never ringed truer as they slapped me across the face with a force stronger than Tigerblood. From those experiences I think I have managed to create a few WINNING tricks that for the most part have kept me out of harms way. Having rules is just a platform to build from but for the foundation to be strong the skill of one’s determination needs to be constantly enforced. Any and every situation in life has these moments where we are called upon to “nut up” and handle business and playing the dating game is no exception.

The biggest mistake I see people make when it comes to dating is that they look for too much of the good in people when they meet them and don’t take enough notes on the bad stuff. We get all rosy eyed with intrigue and infatuation and we forget to balance out the equation to create the real person that in three months will be standing in front of us wondering why we are pissed off at them for doing the same thing that they have been doing for three months but we just now happened to notice. Kind of sound familiar? Don’t worry this mainly happens because most of the time new relationships are on a booze cruise for a few weeks before you all decide to chill out from going out and make it a Blockbuster night.

However, there is a way to prevent this incident and others from occurring. Create what we all know as “Red Flags”. Moments, ideas, philosophy’s that you know just won’t work for you. These are no go, no exceptions. When they pop up, it’s time to bail out cause if you don’t you know what’s coming next, the pain train. When that baby arrives, and it will arrive, you have to deal with all that bullshit that you never wanted to see coming your way in the first place all over again. I have never had a bigger red flag for spotting the over obsessed, over composed, over saturated soul of a person that I am never meant to be with than when I come across, the picky eater.

Now don’t get me wrong there are two types of picky eaters in my book. The type that just don’t like to get too experimental with shit and won’t eat it cause it looks or smells nasty, and the type that orders the fuck out of everything and criticizes the shit out of it the entire night because they think they know how to or where else it is made better. I don’t care about how much your dumb ass chose to pay for it, that’s a YOU problem dummy. Working in restaurants for over half of my life I have never at any point had the belief that people really realize that when we as humans eat, that need is meant for our survival. This isn’t a game. Food has, is and will always be about one thing, survival. Who the hell are we to judge those who serve us, we are lucky to have it. I have to believe that there are a lot of people out in the world like me who are thankful and humbled for being served and will reserve judgment when ill fated cuisine like moments arrive. Someone’s time in life was spent on this planet dedicated to preparing you a meal that you didn’t have to hunt, grow, cook, or kill and your only job is to sit your ass down in the seat and eat it. And odds for the average person are that if it isn’t cooked, fried, grilled, or barbequed, the shit just isn’t going to work.

The next time you picky food folks are out and about frolicking with your judging fingers about the cooking efforts of others, here something to think about from a man who has put twenty years into the business, “Your opinions about dining will always be rushed through the proper channels…One flush usually does it. Now pay the check and don’t forget that tipping is not the Capital of China =) Thank You and Come Again!

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