7 Mar 11

Sasha Speaks: Answering Your Most Private Dating Questions — Is Social Climbing a Dating Deal Breaker?

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Dear Sasha,

I’ve been seeing this woman for about three months now; she is great in most ways except she’s a huge social climber and will cancel plans at the last moment if she thinks it will advance her social status, both socially and in business. Is this a dating deal breaker?

Sincerely,
Is social climbing a dating deal breaker?

Dear Stepping Stone-
A truly pressing question to me seems to be: What’s more important; dating a women you like or dating a woman who supports your ambition?

If your lady has the chance to get cocktails and schmooze with people who can get her work or spend a night on the couch watching CSI: Miami with you, I see nothing wrong with ditching you for the more fruitful activity. While a last minute change of plans is a bit rude, if you haven’t noticed, we’re in a vicious time economically and people need every advantage at their disposal to keep their heads above water. One of the things that first attracted you to this woman must have been her drive and desire, but now it seems to be turning you off as you take a backseat to her priority, which is making a name for herself.

If you really like her, you need to take a page from the Stedman Graham playbook. “Who’s that?” you may ask. Why that’s Mr. Oprah, my friend. A successful entrepreneur and philanthropist, Stedman is best known for being Oprah Winfrey’s finance since 1992 (they say they’re married “spiritually” and plan to keep it that way rather than going through a whole white wedding song and dance). Over the course of their two and a half-plus decade relationship, who often do you think Oprah has pulled the ol’ “Sorry, baby, but I’ve got another commitment tonight?” Plenty, I’m sure. That doesn’t mean she loves Stedman any less, she just wants to have other accomplishments besides being a good girlfriend.

Not only do I see nothing wrong with what you dub “social climbing,” I think it’s commendable.
-Sasha

*Feel free to email us with any dating, relationship, love and sex questions you may have for Sasha.

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About Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer KeltonI did not wake up one morning and say “hey I think I’d like a man use my sweater like a towel, write a candid dating book, become a dating expert, the CEO and founder of a social dating site and have three blogs.”

All of this has happened in a slow burn and here I am. The good, the bad, the mistakes, way too many tears shed to count, lots of wine and oh my goodness a huge learning curve that leaves me much of the time saying, “I’m sorry but this is all new to me.”
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