7 Feb 11

Sasha Speaks: Answering Your Most Private Dating Questions — Calling After an Argument?

Posted by

Dear Sasha,
I got into a fight with my girlfriend and decided not to call her and completely ignored her for an entire week, then that turned into another fight – how long is too long to wait to call after having an argument?

How long is too long?

Dear Too Long-
Are you outside of your mind? If you were my boyfriend, I would have fired you already. A week? You waited a week?!? And she still wants to be with you? Marry that girl! Immediately. Because you won’t soon find someone who’s willing to put up with that level of passive aggressive disrespect.

Of course it turned into another fight. Duh! I’m fighting with you and all you did was tell me the story.

Don’t you know that you’re never supposed to go to bed angry? By ignoring the conflict and your girlfriends’ feelings for SEVEN WHOLE DAYS, all you did was encourage them to fester. With a week to fume, do you have any idea how many friends she had time to speak to, get advice from and commiserate with? Did you think of all the imaginary conversations she had with you in the car while stuck in traffic or brushing her teeth? Do you know how many people probably told her to drop your ass like a dialing-dysfunctional hot potato? By failing to make the simplest of gestures—picking up a phone—all you did was light a slow burning fuse that was destined to create an explosion once you came back around.

Some people like to think of men being from Mars and women from Venus. To my mind, the best definition of male emotional psychology is called “The Cave Man Mentality.” Basically, it explains that when men are in crisis, they need to run back into their cave to sulk and hide while women need to confront and discuss their feelings.

By cowering in your man cave, all you do is create inevitable clashes. If you could have taken a little time out and then calmly returned to the conversation, you could have avoided a crappy week and continuous fallout, and wouldn’t that have been better for everyone involved?

The next time you’re fighting with someone, girlfriend or otherwise, remove yourself from the situation before it gets too overheated. Take some breaths, relax, remember this is someone you love and you don’t want to say anything you can’t take back. Then go back, apologize and say I love you. Yes, even if it wasn’t your fault, apologize. You know why? Because if you say you’re sorry, not only are you being the bigger person, but it instantly defuses the situation and will most likely evoke a counter-apology.

Life is short and love is precious. Any fight is too long in and of itself so end them as soon as they start and move on.


*Feel free to email us with any dating, relationship, love and sex questions you may have for Sasha.

  • What do you think?

About Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer KeltonI did not wake up one morning and say “hey I think I’d like a man use my sweater like a towel, write a candid dating book, become a dating expert, the CEO and founder of a social dating site and have three blogs.”

All of this has happened in a slow burn and here I am. The good, the bad, the mistakes, way too many tears shed to count, lots of wine and oh my goodness a huge learning curve that leaves me much of the time saying, “I’m sorry but this is all new to me.”

In need of a
cyber fortune?

Follow us on Twitter and Tweet #BODFortune to receive a personal DM message of hope, joy and wisdom.

  • BOD Dating App — Alpha Launch 10/15/15

    Mobile dating is about to be changed forever. Are you ready to be a part of the revolution? Coming soon: BadOnlineDates.com will transform the dating space as we know it with the brand new BOD app that redesigns the concept of dating. You know that tingling sensation you feel when you discover an amazing new […]

  • Dress for the Date Announces #DressMonday

    #DressMonday I don’t know about you but I wake up on Monday and know that I’ll be at my desk putting out fires and then at some point having to put my “man pants on and be the “CEO”. Many of us work in masculine industries or the gender-neutral tech space, where it’s easy to […]

  • Shit Cougars Say – Part 2 (Aka Single Older Women)

    Related posts: Bad Date TV: Bad Date Ben – Honestly Ben (What A Douchebag!) Bad Date TV Starring Bad Date Ben – Mom I’d Like to Blank! Bad Date TV: Bad Date Betty and the Blinged Out Bear Bad Date TV: Bad Date Ben – Dating While Pregnant Bad Date TV: Bad Date Betty – […]

  • BADONLINEDATES.COM CELEBRATES It’s Sixth Year Online and Dress for the Date

    Founder/CEO Jennifer Kelton Looks Back on 6 Years of Success With BadOnlineDates.com While Looking Ahead to Her Latest Venture, DressForTheDate.com LOS ANGELES, CA (October 2, 2013) – The website that pioneered the social sharing of bad dating experiences and advice, BadOnlineDates.com, celebrates it’s 6th year anniversary on October 18, 2013. Jennifer Kelton founded the site […]

  • Dress for the Date Interview With Ryan Seacrest (Kiss FM 102.7)

    Listen Here 102.7 KissFM On Air With Ryan Seacrest Related posts: [Press Release] Nationally Recognized Date Stylist Offers Free Service for One Lucky Candidate DressfortheDate.com Offers Fashion Advice for Dating Success Announcing Dress for the Date’s ‘Dress to Impress’ Giveaway