3 Feb 11

Thursday’s Thoughts From a Bartender: Unrequited Love

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By Jack Elliot

It’s the subject of countless novels, the driving force behind countless masterpieces, it’s the inspiration behind ninety five percent of all pop music, it’s the reason behind John Cusack’s acting career, it’s why Harry met Sally, it’s a feeling that is part of the human condition, it’s the main subject at almost all grade school sleepovers, it’s something that hurts, that crushes even, it’s the reason you’re drinking too much and sharing your woes with your favorite bartender. It’s unrequited love.

“Me!?” you say, scoffing, ”No, never. Nope, not me.” But here, I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with you and say that you’re in denial. Admit it, you have been in unrequited love. Its everywhere, its an epidemic.

Now, every so often at the bar, I’ll be talking with a customer who, after a couple drinks, will want to discuss their past and divulge some of their hopeless crushes that have come to naught. And for your sake, dear reader, I’ve taken it upon myself to categorize and develop descriptions for some of the various types of unrequited love.

To begin with, there’s the classic case. The unrequited “friend zone” love. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. You’ve met someone incredibly awesome, someone you have real feelings for, someone you click with on so many levels. You’ll seriously contemplate making a move on the person when all of a sudden he/she will say something like “Wow, I’m so lucky to have you as my best friend, you are the one guy/girl who really understands me.” And then, there you are, right smack dab in the middle of that pitiful friend zone. “How do I get out of such an austere place?” you ask. The answer is: by never getting into it in the first place.

Of course, we can’t forget the unrequited “Had my chance and blew it” love. You know, when maybe you were dating someone you really liked, and you had a window, but missed it. This type of unrequited love can really cut deep because of the whole “so close, yet so far” complex that will leave you feeling record levels of regret and self-pity.

And then there’s the third type. The unrequited “I’ve had a crush on her for months but she still can’t remember my name” love. This one’s pretty self-explanatory, and a real heartbreaker.

So there you have it, the three most common cases of unrequited love out there. So what’s the cure, how do you avoid falling into unrequited love? It’s quite simple. Be bold! Tell the person you like how you feel! Perhaps the feelings may not be reciprocated, but at least the person will know how you feel. And sooner or later, mark my word, that love will be requited.

  • What do you think?

About Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer KeltonI did not wake up one morning and say “hey I think I’d like a man use my sweater like a towel, write a candid dating book, become a dating expert, the CEO and founder of a social dating site and have three blogs.”

All of this has happened in a slow burn and here I am. The good, the bad, the mistakes, way too many tears shed to count, lots of wine and oh my goodness a huge learning curve that leaves me much of the time saying, “I’m sorry but this is all new to me.”
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