29 Jan 11

Thursday’s Thoughts From a Bartender: Hitting on the Bartender?

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By Jack Elliot

Inside the bar you see the live band full of attractive musicians. You see the crowd dancing, enjoying themselves. You see couples throughout the bar, having drinks and relishing in each other’s company. You see the numerous singles throughout the bar talking, joking, trying to make something happen. You see the poor busboys desperately trying to clean up empty glasses and restock the bar. Everyone’s quite attractive. But, no one seems to really strike your eye, no one you really desire, no one with that je-nais-sais-quos.

That is, until you turn your eyes behind the bar and you see the bartenders rushing left and right in a sort of organized, brilliant burst of artistic chaos as they work through the night hours. And then one in particular really takes all your attention. You can tell that he is incredibly busy- but you can’t help thinking about hitting on him. So, what do you do? Do you just order your drinks, check him out while he gets it ready, and leave a nice tip- forever wondering about maybe, just maybe, what could have been. Or do you decide to be bold and try to get him to pause for a bit, try to talk him up, and see what happens? Hence this weeks topic: to hit on the bartender or not?

This is not an easy question and there are innumerable factors to consider. A lot depends on the time of day. If it’s during happy hour and the bar is just getting going and you’re really into one of the bartenders, then hell yeah, go for it. But if it’s a busy Friday night, the bartender could be so slammed that he really doesn’t have any time to think about anything but the 15 drinks and the corresponding tabs/last names running through his head and any attempt at hitting on him would just be annoying. But then again, it all really depends on the bartender.

Also, I’d also say that the bartender’s gender plays a pretty big role. Female bartenders are constantly, perpetually being hit on by guys- it’s almost as if it’s a part of their job description. And I know the one’s that I work with have more or less developed an immunity to the passes made by males (and are also in committed relationships). If you’re going to hit on a female bartender, chances are you’ll just be another number. I’d say that, overall, the better shot lies with going for a male bartender.

And then there’s the whole aspect of a bartender’s role to consider. You have to remember that at the end of the day, most bartenders are just trying to make as many tips as possible. And what’s the best way for them to make those tips? For them to provide you with good conversation, humor, strong drinks, and even a bit of flirtation. So although you may think that they’re into you, they really could just be sweet-talking you. But who knows, I can only tell you so much. I mean, it never hurts to try.

  • What do you think?

About Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer KeltonI did not wake up one morning and say “hey I think I’d like a man use my sweater like a towel, write a candid dating book, become a dating expert, the CEO and founder of a social dating site and have three blogs.”

All of this has happened in a slow burn and here I am. The good, the bad, the mistakes, way too many tears shed to count, lots of wine and oh my goodness a huge learning curve that leaves me much of the time saying, “I’m sorry but this is all new to me.”

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