22 Nov 10

Sasha Speaks: Answering Your Most Personal Dating Questions — The Guy I’m Dating Has Not Asked Me to Thanksgiving Dinner?

Posted by

11-22-10

Dear Sasha,

I’ve been seeing this guy for 3 months, and we are pretty serious, to the point of spending at the very least 5 nights a week together. I’m pretty new to his hometown–he lives in NYC where he was born and raised–and all my family is back in Colorado. He knows I have no one to spend Thanksgiving with, but he still has not asked me if I’d like to spend it with him and his family. Do I say something or wait for him to?
Sincerely,

Dateless on Thanksgiving.

Dear Dateless-
On one hand I want to tell you that your man is a jerkface for not being gracious and extending the invite; on the other, Meeting The Family is a really big deal and Thanksgiving is a huge, pressure-filled holiday. The ease that’s optimal for the big moment you’re introduced to the people who could be your future in-laws rarely exists between fights over how lumpy the gravy is and a search party to help find Grandma her teeth.

Also, spending five nights a week together doesn’t mean you’re in love with this new guy; it means you’re in the first flush of romance when you two can’t keep your hands off of each other.If you haven’t said “I love you,” ordained the relationship as being exclusive or officially earned the title of “girlfriend,” it would be supremely weird to insert yourself into his Normal Rockwell scenario so I wouldn’t recommend bringing it up.

More importantly, the fact that you have no one else to spend the holiday with is a bigger concern in my book. I understand that you’re in a new city, but if you’ve had enough time to land a man, you should have at least one or two new friends in your rolodex by now. I wonder if you if you’ve been so busy spending five nights a week with this dude that you’ve forgotten to make other connections and create a full, complete life in New York City. Why not start on Thanksgiving, taking the day to be thankful for your new life with yourself?

Manhattan is magical on Thanksgiving! The night before, you can go into Central Park and watch them blowing up the balloons for Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, then, the next day, go down to the parade route and wave as five story tall Peanuts characters float by. The leaves change, there’s a chill in the air, and you can feel the excitement of Christmas around the corner. You’re living in a great city, starting an exhilarating new chapter; who cares if you’re dateless?

*Feel free to email us with any dating, relationship, love and sex questions you may have for Sasha.

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About Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer KeltonI did not wake up one morning and say “hey I think I’d like a man use my sweater like a towel, write a candid dating book, become a dating expert, the CEO and founder of a social dating site and have three blogs.”

All of this has happened in a slow burn and here I am. The good, the bad, the mistakes, way too many tears shed to count, lots of wine and oh my goodness a huge learning curve that leaves me much of the time saying, “I’m sorry but this is all new to me.”
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