30 Oct 10

Saturday’s Memoirs: Adventures in Bad Online Dates — Porn Guy

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By Kimberly Wharton

It’s a quiet Tuesday evening. I’ve surely already dated all the crazies on the site, slowly weeding them out, one date at a time. I’m hopefully optimistic, when an IM pops in. We’ll just call him ‘Jim’, as to protect his true identity, ‘Jim100’. At first sight, Jim had already met my image of the perfect boyfriend: cute, boy next door with trust-able eyes. I check out his profile. It’s kind of vague, but funny. We start chatting. We talk about random, entertaining topics forever. I have now decided this could be the perfect guy! He then asks me about my work and I in return ask about what he does. He says he’s a screenwriter. I ask him if he’s gotten work. He replies that he’s on a contract for a huge company. “That’s amazing!” I say. “What kind of things do you write,” I ask. Jim, “XXX”.

“…wait, what?” “Seriously,” I ask? In disbelief, I question him repeatedly. Surely he was pulling my leg. Was it possible that my perfect companion in life writes porn?

I tell him to prove it. …he sends me links to various films. He tells me he works for one of the biggest studios in Los Angeles. I stare at my screen with shattered dreams. He says he’s hoping to build connections to really sell the ‘suspense thrillers’ he likes to write. “How long have you worked for them”, I ask. “Six years.”

I go to sleep that night with deep internal conflict. We had talked for hours. He’s everything I’ve always journaled in a man. He had been with this company longer than a ‘trial period’. He was a deep part of the porn community.

We talk again the next day. He tells me how he’s been writing porn parodies of popular television shows. My mind wanders to the idea of a porn parody of a TV show I was currently working on. I tell him, and he’s intrigued by the concept.

The next day, at work, I take a poll of all the women in my trailer. “Would you date a guy who is seemingly perfect for you, except for the fact that he writes porn?” All but one actually said, ‘Why not.’ This was not the answer I expected. I guess this is Los Angeles, not Birmingham, Alabama. And with so many unemployed screenwriters, at least he had a job! As the day progressed, me and some of my friends came up with this whole partnership scenario. He and I could lead the porn industry revolution making incredibly humorous porn parodies. We could be the ‘George and Gracie’ of porn!

That evening, excited by the idea of what would be the next phase in my life, I log on.

Jim’s profile was deleted.

…the search continues.

*Thought provoking… Would you date someone in the porn industry if you thought he or she was perfect for you?

  • What do you think?

About Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer KeltonI did not wake up one morning and say “hey I think I’d like a man use my sweater like a towel, write a candid dating book, become a dating expert, the CEO and founder of a social dating site and have three blogs.”

All of this has happened in a slow burn and here I am. The good, the bad, the mistakes, way too many tears shed to count, lots of wine and oh my goodness a huge learning curve that leaves me much of the time saying, “I’m sorry but this is all new to me.”
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