19 Oct 10

Tuesday’s Topic: What Happened to Wooing?

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By Kari DePhillips

What happened to wooing? Two words: “Jersey Shore.” On a recent episode, the Situation was all a flutter (as “a flutter” as he can be) over a girl he just met in a Miami nightclub. As a way of sharing personal information the girl said, “I’m from Canada.” To which the Situation replied by lifting up his shirt so she could see his abs. No need to tell her anything else. Is this the new way to woo? If so, there’s going to be a lot of guys in serious trouble.

Of course, a dark nightclub with pulsating techno house music is not the most conducive atmosphere for a decent woo attempt. When the lights come up and the DJ stops spinning will you be ready? Better yet, get out of the club and try some old school wooing in the light of day. It’s not so much about having “game” but about being sincere and open for possibilities.
Here are some wooing basics. No need to practice these in front of a mirror, instead go forth and meet new people. You should start by:

BREAKING THE ICE
Wooing shouldn’t be confused with delivering pick up lines – unless you’re trying to pick up a broad instead of a lady. Most women will tell you that obnoxious pick-up lines are a turn off, but the quirky, off-beat “breaking the ice” comments that can spark a conversation are truly appreciated.

Once the conversation gets going always:

FOCUS ON HER EYES
There might be a lot you like about the girl you just met, but the only place you should be looking is right in her eyes. Unless they offer up, “What do you think of this tattoo?” don’t let your pupils wander.
Which direction should you take the conversation?

WHEN IN DOUBT, TALK ABOUT HER
Wooing is really about focusing your attention on your intended. Is she asks about you, share but don’t story tell. Instead, shift the conversation to her and find out what she likes. You don’t have to like all of what she likes, you just have to know what she likes.
As you progress to date night, the wooing kicks into high gear. You should be ready to:

MAKE THE DATES MORE ABOUT HER
This goes back to finding out what she likes. If she’s into hockey: score! Take her to a game. If she’s into art, then buck up and head over to a museum — you might just learn a thing or two!

As the relationship progresses:

DON’T DROP THE WOOING BALL
Don’t just text her with “What’s up?” A funny line or two can get her smiling and thinking about you all day, so put some effort into your messages. If she has a good relationship with her family, go out of your way to meet them. Walk on the street side of the sidewalk, and don’t be afraid to open a door or twelve. Be spontaneous, but don’t stop planning. A date can go in many directions, but you need to set the course.

Any girl worth your time is worth wooing – it’s time to bring chivalry back, one clueless dude at a time.

  • What do you think?

About Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer KeltonI did not wake up one morning and say “hey I think I’d like a man use my sweater like a towel, write a candid dating book, become a dating expert, the CEO and founder of a social dating site and have three blogs.”

All of this has happened in a slow burn and here I am. The good, the bad, the mistakes, way too many tears shed to count, lots of wine and oh my goodness a huge learning curve that leaves me much of the time saying, “I’m sorry but this is all new to me.”
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