18 Oct 10

Sasha Speaks — Answering Your Most Private Dating Questions

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Sasha Speaks 10.18.10

“Dear Sasha
I’ve been dating this girl for the past few months. Things are pretty serious, we’ve slept together and say ‘I love you,’ and it’s all great, except that I used to go out with her friend and that makes things a little tense and weird from time to time.

How can I alleviate the tension?

Sincerely,
“Doug the Double Dipper”

Dear Double Dipper-

I can practically smell the stench of awkwardness from here. It’s thicker than the fog of Dolce Gabbana cologne coming off a GLT-ing guido in Ed Hardy fist pumping his way through a Saturday night on the prowl.

Blech!

First of all, I’m gonna guess that “a little tense and weird” is your guy speak for what most people, especially women, would deem a major s*%tstorm. And I don’t think you packed an umbrella. If you’ve been naked with two women who have to co-exist, the only way to alleviate the tension is to make sure the girl you dated first gets married or starts doinking George Clooney so she won’t have to wallow in the fact that you’ve moved on with someone she knows.

And speaking of, who is this hussy you’re dating?!?!

She violated Girl Rule Numero Uno: You don’t date your friend’s man! That means guys your friends have dated, slept with, made out with, or even crushed on.

Sure, guys have no problem passing a girl along to their friends, but women don’t operate like that.

If I found out one of my girlfriends hooked up with Simon Retner-Warner, who I “went with” for two days before dumping him during third period French class in 7th grade, I’d be pissed. I don’t care if it happened in junior high, I Columbus-ed that ass. I stuck a flag in it and now it’s done.

There are billions of people on this planet; why recycle booty within a friend circle? Even Al Gore can’t get behind that kind of behavior. Besides, how weird is it that now the two of them can sit in a room and say things like, “Don’t you love it when Doug does A, B,C and D?” Girls talk about everything, in vivid, gory detail. The fact that these women can compare notes on your sexual stats doesn’t make them bond, it makes them bitter.

*Feel free to email us with any dating, relationship, love and sex questions you may have.

  • What do you think?

About Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer KeltonI did not wake up one morning and say “hey I think I’d like a man use my sweater like a towel, write a candid dating book, become a dating expert, the CEO and founder of a social dating site and have three blogs.”

All of this has happened in a slow burn and here I am. The good, the bad, the mistakes, way too many tears shed to count, lots of wine and oh my goodness a huge learning curve that leaves me much of the time saying, “I’m sorry but this is all new to me.”
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