2 Sep 10

Thursday’s Thoughts From a Bartender: Dating and Tipping

What Your Tipping Style May Say About Your Dating Style

Could the way you tip become a Dating Deal Breaker?

By Jack Elliot

You know the drill. You’re out on the town, dancing shoes on. You laugh, you vent about your workweek, you take a few cute pictures. And perhaps… you meet a certain cute somebody. The conversation (along with the drinks) flows and all signals are go. And eventually, you and new cute somebody go to close your tabs. After you close out, (out of pure curiosity, of course) you slyly glance over cute somebody’s shapely shoulders to find out what kind of tipper they are.

Should one put much stock into the amount of gratuity a potential mate deems appropriate? Is it shallow to judge someone by the amount they tip? And what kind of tip is a turn off? At least this much is clear: the tip one gives has to at least have some sort of influence on your perception of said cute somebody, shapely shoulders or not.

For starters, there are definitely two types of tippers to be wary of. These are what I like to call the “short changers” and “high rollers.” The typical reasons behind a shortchanged tip are either stinginess or an irrational attention to petty details (i.e. “I’m so not leaving a good tip because I didn’t get two lemons with my vodka soda). Stinginess should definitely send out a warning sign because more likely than not it sheds insight into other aspects of now not-so-cute-somebody’s life. Bottom line: Don’t be surprised if you have to throw in for gas on your next date. And when it comes to being too scrupulous, it’s probably only a matter of time until scrupulous-somebody is judging you left and right (i.e. “Are you really going to wear those jeans.”)

And then there’s the infamous high roller- the type who leaves a, shall we say, “wow-they must drive a Porsche” sort of tip. Of course, a large tip does not necessarily have to translate into arrogance and it could definitely be interpreted as a token of generosity, that is, if it matches their suit. But, on the other hand, this type of tipper could just be stretching the limits of their bank account to blindside and woo you into bed. Or, perhaps the excessive gratuity is a means to overcompensate for other sort of shortcomings? You be the judge.

So, you ask, what sort of tipper should I go for? Here, it is important to keep in mind that tipping, when it comes down to the bottom line, is a kind gesture, which brings us to the third type of tipper, the “best bet.” This sort of tipper is the type of person who unostentatiously leaves an appropriate tip, for the simple reason of pure generosity. Don’t be surprised if this cute somebody shows up with flowers on the next date.

So there you have it. Take it, leave it. But also keep in mind the words of those 4 cute somebody’s: “I don’t care too much for money, money can’t buy me love.”

What do you think?

About Jennifer Kelton

I did not wake up one morning and say “hey I think I’d like a man use my sweater like a towel, write a candid dating book, become a dating expert, the CEO and founder of a social dating site and have three blogs.”

All of this has happened in a slow burn and here I am. The good, the bad, the mistakes, way too many tears shed to count, lots of wine and oh my goodness a huge learning curve that leaves me much of the time saying, “I’m sorry but this is all new to me.”
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