11 Aug 10

He Doesn’t Care

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By Jennifer Kelton

That’s why he didn’t call.

One week after avoiding two of my favorite local happy hour spots, I’m sitting at one of them, drinking a $4 happy hour draught, surrounded by dark mahogany. It’s the local Irish Pub. I’m on a first-name basis with the bartenders, here. I’m sitting on my bar stool, praying to God that he (Mr. Guy- Who-Didn’t Call) doesn’t walk in.

Have you ever felt the need to go on a “Dating Fast?” That’s exactly what I did. Not by choice, but for mental survival from December 2009 until now—August 2010.

It was seven months of not wondering why he’s not calling, texting and/or e-mailing. Instead, I focused on my company, which gives me plenty to think about on a day-to-day basis; spammers, scammers, bots, bugs, bills, content, rep management, PR, programmers, SEO, marketing, monetization, analytics… well, you get the corporate picture of being a one-woman business.

Falling off the dating wagon and my Man Fast seemed like a good idea at the time. But now? Not so much. You know that old saying “what you think, you will attract?” That’s exactly what I did—and it happened. Aka the Laws of Attraction.

I met a smart, funny, cute guy, made out with him and developed a major crush! I suppose after being on a Man Fast for seven months it was easy to develop feelings quickly, and he had a lot of those great qualities I was looking for—or so it seemed: until he didn’t call, text or e-mail.

Mr. Guy Who Didn’t Call turned into a major distraction. A few tears and tequila shots later, I decided to ask the bartender to tell me the “12 reasons that guys don’t call back.”

And this is what he said: (After remarking, “12 is pushing it.”)
1. He was really drunk and compromising.
2. He didn’t have an interesting night.
3. Bad kisser. (But I try to not kiss people that I’m not attracted to so…)
4. Bad sex.
5. Bottom line is: if he’s not calling, it’s because he thinks it’s not worth it, and he doesn’t care about you.

He’s right. If he’s not calling, it’s because he doesn’t care about you, and that’s a good reason to stop worrying and thinking about why he’s not calling.

But, you know, I was pondering what the bartender said when I was out running, and I realized that it hurts to feel like “someone doesn’t care,” because it makes me feel alone. I can honestly say during my seven-month Dating Fast, I have felt alone only once and that was just a few weeks ago when I had my root canal.

What do you think, girls? Do you feel alone when he doesn’t call? And guys, I’d love to know why you don’t call back!

  • What do you think?

About Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer KeltonI did not wake up one morning and say “hey I think I’d like a man use my sweater like a towel, write a candid dating book, become a dating expert, the CEO and founder of a social dating site and have three blogs.”

All of this has happened in a slow burn and here I am. The good, the bad, the mistakes, way too many tears shed to count, lots of wine and oh my goodness a huge learning curve that leaves me much of the time saying, “I’m sorry but this is all new to me.”

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