10 Jun 10

Technology Does Not Erase the Human Heart (Part 2)

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By Jessica Downey

As someone who has been dating on the internet since before dating on the internet was the thing to do I can honestly say that things have come a long way. There are dating sites to meet millionaires, people of the same religious background and even the most “beautiful” people in the world. Actually you can even meet people to have an affair with. In addition to dating sites people can even use social networking sites like Twitter or Facebook to meet and date people (I admit it, I have done it). So yeah, it’s safe to say it’s fairly easy to meet someone.

It is funny though that the exact things that have been invented to help bring the world together are also the things that are causing us to separate from each other (that is from actual human interaction).

There seems to be this idea that if you haven’t actually met each other then maybe you don’t really matter all that much. I’ve often found myself thinking “who am I, just some girl from the internet” as I am chatting with a man I have yet to meet (actually to be technical I’ve found myself saying it to them as well). It seems logical, I mean, who am I really? I am a screename on Twitter or a profile on a dating site or five random pictures that I have posted on my profile.

A few days ago a guy sent me a message on Twitter asking what I was up to later that day. We exchanged a few messages and agreed we should meet up for a drink sometime. Next thing I knew he was asking for my Blackberry pin (not my phone number) so he could BBM (Blackberry Messenger) me. Then a few days later I noticed he was sending the same type of messages to other women. How did this guy think that I wouldn’t notice? Honestly, I wonder if he even thought about it.

I have also had several instances where I have been chatting with a guy from the internet and had him ask for my phone number only to turn around and text me. He didn’t text just to set up a date, but to have an actual conversation. Why not just pick up the phone and call me?

Then we have Four Square. About a month ago I was waiting for a guy at my place only to find out he was checking in to sushi with his friends on Four Square (oops). Apparently Four Square (and all of Twitter) needed to know where he was before the woman that was waiting for him to show up.

Now, I know that I probably shouldn’t let these things bother me, but fact of the matter is I am a human being and with that comes a certain amount of feelings (even if I like it or not). Even if we meet a way that doesn’t utilize human interaction that doesn’t change the fact that I am still a human being.

There are certain things that I don’t want to see on the internet anymore than I want to see in person (like you sending out mass messages to every hot girl amongst your followers). There are also things that I don’t want to find out via the internet but that I would rather find out with a phone call (like you have to cancel a date because you were tied up with friends).

Bottom line is just because I am “some girl from the internet” doesn’t erase the fact that I am a human being with actual feelings.

Jessica Downey is a freelance writer who lives in Chicago who writes about dating and life as a single woman. She currently writes for ChicagoNow.com and has written for Examiner.com

  • 1 Comment

  • Online dating can be the first step on meeting people and getting to know of them. And the time comes that both of you are ready to see each other then you can set up a date for a drink. Just be sure that the two of you will go willingly. Do doubt feeling of showing yourself to each other.

About Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer KeltonI did not wake up one morning and say “hey I think I’d like a man use my sweater like a towel, write a candid dating book, become a dating expert, the CEO and founder of a social dating site and have three blogs.”

All of this has happened in a slow burn and here I am. The good, the bad, the mistakes, way too many tears shed to count, lots of wine and oh my goodness a huge learning curve that leaves me much of the time saying, “I’m sorry but this is all new to me.”

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