1 May 09

Don’t Use My Sweater Like a Towel: Part 3 – Chapter 6

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See below for part 1 & 2…

Date Like a Man by Myreah Moore and Jodie Gould contained some good information. I appreciated the fact it went straight to the point, especially in the chapter, “How to Have Sex Like a Man: Sex Tips from Men That You Can’t Live/Date Without,” where they go from the difference between love and lust to frank advice about deep-throating and masturbation. But it is still very rules-based: more planning what to say and when to say it. That feels controlling and unnatural, and doesn’t leave enough room to be yourself.

Finally, I turned to the granddaddy (or grandmother) of them all. I spent about 20 minutes skimming through The Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, before I became completely overwhelmed. Laying it aside, I remembered that The Weekender had called and left a message. I decided to call him back, breaking Rule 5: “Don’t Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls.” According to the book, if I am “following The Rules religiously, there is no reason to call him.” Being the feisty sort of gal I am, I decided to take my chances and take a walk on the wild side.

I could almost hear the Helen Reddy song “I Am Woman” playing in the background. As I dialed his number there was no heart racing, no butterflies in my stomach and after a few rings he answered, happy to hear my voice. I mentioned that I was breaking “Rule 5” and asked him what he thought about that. “It is absurd. If you never call a guy back he will think I you are not interested and not call you.” Interesting. That’s what I was thinking, too, especially in this age of internet dating and the like.

Hanging up with The Weekender, I realized what I really needed was the Man-O-Pinion. While I have clear ideas, I needed to go straight to the source. I enlisted 8 of my male friends, some of the men I have dated, and a few strangers, for a total of 16 men, to get a wide array of opinions.

As with all of my studies, the sample included men of varying age, race and relationship status. From a variety of dating books, I assembled these “rules” women are told to follow. I presented each man with 10 survey questions, derived from several dating book scenarios, and asked for their frank, honest opinions.

To be continued.

  • What do you think?

About Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer KeltonI did not wake up one morning and say “hey I think I’d like a man use my sweater like a towel, write a candid dating book, become a dating expert, the CEO and founder of a social dating site and have three blogs.”

All of this has happened in a slow burn and here I am. The good, the bad, the mistakes, way too many tears shed to count, lots of wine and oh my goodness a huge learning curve that leaves me much of the time saying, “I’m sorry but this is all new to me.”

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