8 Mar 09

Don’t Use My Sweater Like a Towel – Part 3

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Nature, Soul and Respect…

As Gary and I sat smiling at the bar sipping cocktails, discussing life and soul connection, we were both in agreement that things in our modern society have changed. Where did respect go? Is the lack of respect connected with the loss of soul and the loss of connection with nature? As we go through life, I believe do we end up with Leaky Souls that leave trails of icky, sticky, gooey soul matter that get stuck on others in our own life wake.

The bumps and bruises, the heart breaks, losses, anguish and other rough life situations often make people hard and out of touch. It has become so much easier for people to look outward rather than explore what is going on inward. Rather than explore that inner place where the answers lie, people seek the external bandages for their problems. How do we evolve if we are not willing to go there? How can we have healthy relationships if we don’t? Bring on the Kleenex!

“If you desire to know your soul, the first step is to recognize that you have a soul. The next step is to allow yourself to consider, “If I have a soul, what is my soul? What does my soul want? What is the relationship between my soul and me? How does my soul affect my life?” When the energy of the soul is recognized, acknowledged, and valued, it begins to infuse the life of the personality. When the personality comes fully to serve the energy of the soul, that is authentic empowerment. This is the goal of the evolutionary process in which we are involved and the reason for being. “
Gary Zukav, The Seat of the Soul

About a month ago I asked a woman who lives across the alley not to put her trash into my trashcans. The amount of over consumption and waste produced by her family was making me crazy and I was sick and tired of looking at her life via the overflow of garbage week after week. When I very politely asked her not to use my trashcans anymore, she threw a hysterical fit. I could see the veins bulge in her neck; her body got really tense as she yelled over and over “You are ruining the planet for my daughter!” The reality is that she and her family consume so much in a week that they do not have enough garbage space and need dump their trash into my cans and my life. Who is really “ruining the planet” for her daughter?

It became exceedingly symbolic to me in that by not taking full responsibility of her own personal actions and behavior, it somehow became okay for her dump on someone else, in this case literally with her household trash, and then blame the her own issues on another person. In the alley that afternoon, she got her leaky soul gook all over me.

Applying this concept to relationships and my twelve-month research project, I thought of Jill, my dry cleaner. Just how many of us have had our sweaters used like a towel? I decided to ask her.

I had just returned from Vegas with a man I had been dating and had a carry-on bag full of smoke-filled clothing – the perfect time to bring it up. Jill is always curious about my love life, so we had no problem discussing the situation. I asked her how many people a day bring in cum-stained clothing and what the most common clothing articles were. She said that the person just before me had gave her just such an item, and at least 10 people a day. She went on, “Mind you, this is just [what gets handed to] me – not the other people who work here. But when I see it I will always show it to a coworker.” I asked her if she noticed it on mine when, almost exactly one year ago, I brought in my cum-encrusted sweater. She looked me square in the eye and nodded her head yes.
Is this humanity at its best or worst? I asked her if she felt like she needed to wear rubber gloves and a biohazard suit. Another look square into my eyes and an emphatic, “Yes!”

“There is this one man, a lawyer, that is in here all the time. And every time he hands me his pants, it looks like he jacked on himself, there is so much of it. And prom time is especially busy!” she told me. “I think that people do not care. I do think that people notice, it but just do not care. I see it on everything, but mostly on shirts, skirts, sweaters and pants.”

I asked her if it smelled. She gave me a look and said, “No! I do not go that far. It is embarrassing to me.”

“Who among us is an expert on the human experience? We have only the gift of sharing perceptions that hopefully can help those on their journey. There is no such thing as an expert on the human experience. “
Gary Zukav, The Seat of the Soul

So in the end what does this all really mean? We can analyze, study, over-think, debate, call in great minds to talk about the meaning of life and how we all got here, stinky sperm, human connection, human chemistry, dating books, pheromones and love – a person could spend a lifetime in deep contemplation about human existence and what exactly makes us all tick. Life gets thorny and complex, but I do not think it is rocket science. In my belief it really is amazingly simple. It all comes back to respect: respect for yourself, respect for others and a deep reverence for nature – what we are all made of.

“Reverence is engaging in a form and a depth of contact with life that is well beyond the shell of form and into essence. Reverence is contact with the essence of each thing and person and plant and bird and animal.”
Gary Zukav, The Seat of the Soul

  • 1 Comment

  • I believe on a first date you should never talk about your past relationships, so yeah, I gave this a pass
    dating

About Jennifer Kelton

Jennifer KeltonI did not wake up one morning and say “hey I think I’d like a man use my sweater like a towel, write a candid dating book, become a dating expert, the CEO and founder of a social dating site and have three blogs.”

All of this has happened in a slow burn and here I am. The good, the bad, the mistakes, way too many tears shed to count, lots of wine and oh my goodness a huge learning curve that leaves me much of the time saying, “I’m sorry but this is all new to me.”
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